Is compulsive sexuality one of the major serial cheater profile traits your spouses struggles with?
Does your spouse get bored easily?
Does she need instant gratification?
If so they may suffer from compulsive sexuality disorder which results from a lack of impulse control.
Essentially this means they do whatever feels good in the moment without measuring the consequences.
This is one of the 9 serial cheater profile traits from my main post.
Look at the following situations. If you could predict the future what would happen in these cases?
- Your slick talking husband goes to the hotel lounge at night during a business conference in another city. Flirtatious, inebriated women hit on him. He doesn’t stop their advances or leave, likes the attention or misses feeling young.
- Your insecure wife receives daily compliments about her good looks from her successful, confident boss. She doesn’t stop him. She likes what she hears. He asks her to meet him for lunch in a nearby cafe to help him with a project.
Not a comfortable thought, right?
But if your wife or husband suffers from a personality disorder or mood disorder then this presents a major challenge. Their inability to make the right choice to handle the above situations could jeopardize your entire relationship.
It did for me when my wife chose to sleep with a strange man from another city and start an affair.
How does an impulse control disorder affect your relationship?
In this case it means your sweet little wife or beloved man of yours might have a lack of impulse control. They won’t think twice before they act on their sexual fantasies.
Their desire for physical touch and companionship drives them to hunger for sexual intimacy with various partners.
Remember the old cartoons where the devil sits on one shoulder and the angel sits on the other? Each one advised the character what choice to make.
Yeah, just like that scenario. And of course this means they would choose to listen to the devil’s advice to act on whatever feels good in the moment.
Then they fall into the temptation to live out their sexual desires.
This of course damages the relationships of the people they claim to care for most.
Does Your Spouse Suffer from Compulsive Sexuality Disorder?
The scary part: if your husband or wife suffers from compulsive sexuality they may not enjoy sex with you.
The scarier part: they cannot even control the urge to have sex. Sex with strangers or people from work, no matter the physical or emotional risk.
My experience: I remember early in my relationship with my wife when she shared with me she had never had a serious relationship before ours.
Back in her home country she met a couple Americans, one at Starbucks and would go into the city to meet up at his apartment just to have casual sex.
What bothered me most was she talked about it like sex was no bigger of a deal than going to get a slice of pizza.
Honestly, that was all the sign I needed to indicate she may have a problem with compulsive sexuality.
But I felt like many guys feel when they enter a relationship with a pretty girl– “I am special, we are meant to be together, she chose me. Everything will be ok. She won’t cheat on me.”
In the end she abandoned me to move to another city to be with a man she hardly knew.
This is a few months after I caught her in another affair with a different man. I don’t see her ever changing. It’s not worth the risk of wasting my time with someone who is vulnerable to the temptation of cheating.
DOWNLOAD: 10 Danger Signs You Chose a Partner Who Will Wreck Your Life
Download the List of Top Ten Ugliest Relationship Killing Traits in a Partner: Is it time to get out?
What Are the Symptoms and Who Likely Suffers from Compulsive Sexuality?
For those that suffer from compulsive sexuality (other names are hyper-sexuality, hyper sexual disorder, nymphomania and sexual addiction) the degree of severity varies. And how they handle their sexual desires changes from one person to another.
If you suspect your spouse might suffer from a lack of impulse control over his or her sexual desires, here are some symptoms to look out for.
- His desire for sex is intense and out of control.
- Her sexual compulsion is never satisfied. The hunger for sexual activity never fully goes away.
- Your spouse’s compulsive sexuality becomes an escape from other problems like loneliness, depression, anxiety or stress.
- He or she puts themselves in risky situations that could result in serious negative consequences. Examples of what they risk losing: extracting a sexually transmitted disease, destroying important relationships (close friendships), work-related distractions or even find themselves involved in lawsuits.
- Perhaps the most daunting problem of all is their struggle to connect emotionally with you.
What will you do about your spouse’s lack of impulse control over their compulsive sexuality behavior?
This decision is more about you. This decision is also about me.
How will we choose to live our lives?
I do not want my happiness to depend on someone else that cannot control their emotions, do you?
It hurts so much to watch my wife spin out of control. She places herself in risky situations where she could lose more than she gains.
However, I do not want to live with hope that she will change when she has not even identified the problem.
It is up to her to identify her own problem of lack of impulse control and compulsive sexuality.
Does your spouse show and feel remorse for hurting you?
How do you know when to forgive your cheating spouse?
Help them see the devastation they produced from their unhealthy choices and provide them a glimpse of the unpredictable, risky future waiting for them.
Some marriages will never go back to the way they were. It depends on many circumstances and the personality of the cheater.
GET HELP: If Your Spouse Wants Help with Their…
- Lack of impulse control
- Compulsive Sexuality
Dr Huizenga offers some valuable insight how to overcome diagnosed impulse disorders.
I also benefited from his advice how to recover from my wife’s affair . I healed much quicker from the emotional pain I suffered over her abandoning me.