You suspect that you married a serial cheating wife and you have no idea what to do next, right?
Don’t feel ashamed, neither did I, and nor do the thousands of men who visit my site and email me.
The life you knew yesterday has vanished and the one you live today feels shaky and gloomy.
Some cheating wives regret what they did and immediately attempt to repair the damage the caused and rebuild the trust with their hurt husbands.
But many don’t.
Nor do they intend to.
And, of course, it goes the same way for cheating husbands.
Many of you have brought it to my intention that your marriage cannot be saved and all you want is to rebuild your own lives, raise your confidence and move on with your lives.
Yet other betrayed husbands (and wives) would like to rebuild what has broken in their marriage, but their gut tells them that it is not possible.
Instead, they struggle with deciding whether to just cut their losses and move on.
I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but in many cases you have no choice but to divorce and move on with your life.
Because it takes two who want a healthy marriage, but you are the only one who will.
You must gauge the situation and re-evaluate your life.
And the longer you wait around for a miracle to happen, the worse you will feel.
I know because I have been there too.
Learn to read the signs of a cheating wife who will never stop.
If these scenarios above describe you then this post is for you.
You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.C. JoyBell C.
What Makes a Serial Cheating Wife?
Sometimes people with good intentions find themselves in situations at the wrong place at the wrong time and do things out of character that they later regret.
Yet, there are also other people, who have tendencies to put themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.
In the case of a serial cheating wife, she exhibits personality traits that help her continue to cross the line over and over again to take part in inappropriate behavior with various men.
This behavior regardless how you categorize it would make her husband feel betrayed.
Cheating is cheating.
But, of course, the consistent situations which put her in high risk cheating situations often throw her into full-blown affairs.
And regardless of the deep-seeded emotional reasons why married women cheat, they ruin marriages.
But should you stick around with her or leave her?
I am not here to tell you how to run your life.
But I do beg you to consider the danger of staying with a serial cheating wife who will either stay married with you and break your heart later or make you wait while SHE decides whether to stay with you or not.
Do not put the decision in her hands.
Do not hand over the power to her to decide what happens in your life.
She already has proven her ability to betray you.
Don’t let her take anything more from you.
But yet, many men hand onto a broken dream and that makes me wonder…
Why Do We Forgive Our Cheating Wives So Easily?
In some cases, she felt something was missing in her life, and she cheated with one man, regretted it and then fought for her marriage.
However, in many other cases, the grief-stricken husband clings to the hope of reliving those happy days from that he and his wife live in the beginning.
So he forgives her, sticks around in the relationship and prays that she will snap out of this spell and that things can go back to how they used to be.
But she does not.
Instead years later, sometimes many years, he uncovers an ugly truth that you only see in movies or documentaries or read about.
He finds out that after he forgave her, that his serial cheating wife ended up cheating with numerous men or at least numerous times.
Sometimes she cheated with his friends, their neighbors or complete strangers in hotel rooms on business trips.
Even in his own mind, he thought that only men cheated, but he runs right into the wall of reality that he married a serial cheating wife who does not know how to stop.
And he finds himself alone in a dark place where betrayed husbands stand at a fork in the road.
One path leads down a long winding path which ends in depression.
The other leads to a choice, where you choose how you want to feel.
You can decide to separate fact from fiction and rebuild your life because you won’t let her (or anyone) defeat you and control how you feel.
BUT… many of you fear living alone or just fear the unknown, and stay married even though you know you shouldn’t.
So that makes me wonder why betrayed husbands make…
The Excuses Husbands Make for their Serial Cheating Wife
For me the excuses men make for their wives’ addiction to cheating all mean the same thing, but just get worded differently.
Nevertheless, he justifies her deceitful behavior and does not want to admit that he is too fearful to leave and so he says something along the lines of the following:
- Feels lost in her life, she is still trying to figure things out.
- This was her first serious relationship- she feels overwhelmed.
- Her parents didn’t express their love for her, therefore, she craves attention.
- She got whatever she wanted as a child and is not used to sharing.
- Things have been hard for her so she had too much to drink, got drunk and slept with him.
- She has no one to talk to about her problems so she found a friend who listened.
- I’ve been too busy with work to pay attention to her (and the kids).
- I am not very sexual, she is, therefore, she needed to get her trapped desires met- but it was just a few times and now it’s over.
- He flirted with her hard and gave her attention she needed. She fell into the temptation.
- There is a lot on her plate to deal with and she felt lonely. He was there at just the wrong time.
- She’s not used to receiving the kind of attention I give her. She felt suffocated and connected with someone who is less needy.
They all mean one thing, that our serial cheating wife will not stop cheating.
Does it really matter her reason?
Does it matter the circumstances or what kind of person she was before we met her that makes her into the person she is today?
No, it doesn’t.
And as long as we keep making excuses for her unacceptable behavior and stay married to her we only prolong our chance to heal and re-create a new life for ourselves.
Some marriages can be fixed.
It’s time to open your eyes to the truth so you can save yourself.
But many of you build the value of your lives around your wife.
You see your marriage as some kind of prized possession that you feel so proud of.
And you cannot imagine the thought of looking at an empty trophy case.
As a result you decide to forgive her and give her a second chance for these foolish reasons:
Why We Forgive Our Serial Cheating Wife Too Easily and Give Her a Second Chance
- Fear of living Alone. We’d prefer a warm body lying next to us despite the fact she deceived and made a fool out of us then be alone.
- Fear of Final Rejection. Her leaving is the ultimate blow. It’s easier to just pretend that her cheating was just a mistake and hold onto hope that she will snap out of her spell.
- We Fear Starting Over. We erroneously hope that she will return to the sweet, caring person she was when we first met her.
- Our lives revolved around love and romance and the rest of our lives are not where we want them to be.
- She was as good as it was going to get. No one better will come along. Which, by the way, is a pathetic way to think- did you forget that she lived a second life behind your back?
- “But it was only once. It will never happen again.” Question: Do you actually know that it was once? And if so, why would it matter?
- You Don’t Understand a Serial Cheating Wife ‘s Mindset. Do you know the effort it takes to cheat? Do you know what goes through one’s mind leading up to the actual action of cheating? How well do you understand a cheater’s mindset?
- Her attachment style is different than yours. You are emotionally dependent.
- Your personality leads you to make excuses for people’s poor and deceitful behavior. You always give people the benefit of the doubt.
- You’re only looking one step ahead. Have you considered what happens next, even if she does give you reasons to trust her again? Will she deceive you again?
- Poor finances. Your personal finances are in ruins. Partly because you cannot spending the money you do have and you have nothing saved up; therefore, you fear living on your own- even though you secretly want to.
- No support system or back up plan. You feel you have no where to live or anyone to talk to.
- Lack of surviving other traumatic situations. You may have experienced other traumatic events, but never fully recovered emotionally. If you had then you could apply it to this situation.
- You forgive too easily.
- Fear of loss. You’d rather hold onto hope then fighting to rebuild your life and then it not working the way you want it. It would just feel like another loss and you don’t want to deal with another bad break.
- Fear what the kids’ will think. Does anyone in the family truly win when a marriage is irreparable? Do you think your kids can detect that there’s something wrong?
Serial Cheating Wife: Traits and Signs of a Cheating Wife Who Will Not Stop
Your Marriage Ship is Sinking, Jump on a Life Boat
Your marriage ship is sinking, it hasn’t yet , but it will.
You just haven’t read the signs.
Here below are my lists of a) serial cheater wife traits and b) easy-to-cheat situations she puts herself in that allow her to cheat routinely and easily without you ever finding out.
I saw it with my serial cheating wife and I saw it with the married woman who I should never have dated.
But my misfortune and poor decisions will help save you from more heartbreak because you will respect and be more weary of these serial cheating wife signs of someone who will not stop and just ruin your life if you let them:
Poor Conflict-Resolution Skills
This doesn’t mean that you both fight a lot, rather that her disputes almost always end unresolved where she feels disgruntled and resentful. To her, the whole world is against her. She doesn’t normally negotiate mutually beneficial resolutions, instead she runs from conflict or manipulatively and strategically finagles one-sided outcomes.
And because your serial cheating wife feels that it is her against the world she feels the need to hide her whereabouts, intentions, conversations, thoughts and feelings. She not dare take the chance of you or anyone else (including her lover) to take advantage of her, instead she will administer the manipulation to weave her web of lies in order to get what she wants.
The most seasoned cheaters have a keen knack of getting what they want from their spouses. They take advantage of your compassion and unconditional love and continue to feed off of it. She knows exactly how to justify her selfish endeavors and dirty deeds by convincing you to feel sorry for her.
Sense of Entitlement
Of course, the motivation that feeds your wife’s manipulative tricks is her sense of entitlement. She feels that she deserves to get what she wants whenever she wants it. And many times this comes at the expense of your needs and others’ needs, for which, she feels no regret.
For her to hide her secrets, manipulate and stemming from her misconstrued view that the world faces off against her, a serial cheating wife knows how to avoid and pick her battles. She tactically pulls this off by hiding her feelings and tricking you into believing that there is no fight in the first place. This eliminates your detection of there being any problem that needs fixed, so you ignore it while she goes off and fulfills her needs behind your back.
Compulsive Sexual Addiction
While not all cheating results in sexual relations, most do. And if your serial cheating wife has a sex addiction then no one man will ever suffice. Married people with a sexual addiction need help, but do you really want to stand someone who is addicted to getting pleased by what should be strictly intimate between only you and her?
Strong people do not depend on other people to uplift them, instead they find that source from within (or from a supernatural force like God). However, when that emotional battery runs low on juice because no one tells her how special, attractive, fun or great she is then she feels empty. She will avoid that emptiness at all costs, including from men not named you. Emotional affairs with co-workers can easily start when one struggles with a low self-esteem and combined with many other traits on this list.
Clingy Emotional Attachment Style
I came across an interesting concept a while ago regarding the emotional motivation behind why we choose to enter relationships and why some of us choose to stay in bad ones. I even decided to write a post about it. The premise is that we each view relationships as providing a different purpose to our lives.
In my post I write of one healthy relationship attachment style and three unhealthy ones that describe people who enter relationships with unrealistic expectations. And if your wife suffers from one of these unhealthy relationship attachment styles: anxious preoccupied attachment style, a dismissive avoident attachment style or a fearful avoident attachment style then you potentially have sitting on a ticking, time-bomb since the wedding day.
Co-dependency is the result that comes from low self-esteem.
Many married people are emotionally co-dependent, but it doesn’t mean that they will cheat, but if they exhibit many of the traits on this this then I’d pay attention. No one should get married if they rely on their spouse for emotional completeness. This is not a fair expectation that anyone could live up to and not one of the healthy reasons to get married.
And in the case of the serial cheating wife, it only becomes a matter of time before their spouse cannot keep them happy and feeling loved. This lack of fulfillment can lead to depression or to cheating. Of course, this is the essence of serial cheating, the constant search for intimate emotional fulfillment from other people.
Independently Unfulfilled. No Purpose No Goals, No Dreams of Her Own.
Healthy people who do not depend on others for happiness have purpose in their lives. For some, this could religious-based- a sense to serve others, for others, their ambitious souls send them on a constant quest to strive achievement. Either way, the healthy person’s emotional fuel tank rarely hover around “empty”.
Therefore, regardless of the state of their marriage, they feel fulfilled.
The marriage acts as one of many sources of happiness and emotional support.
Purpose gives us all a reason to go to bed peacefully and wake up to sunshine every day- not gloom.
If your serial cheating wife does not have her own set of personal goals or dreams then she lives without purpose.
Then she many rely solely on whatever feels good in the moment.
Combine that with a low self-esteem and a man who comes along (usually someone she sees a lot: a co-worker, neighbor or one of your friends or relatives) who shows empathy for her sob story of sadness and she is ripe for an affair.
Blames You and Others for Not Achieving Goals
Of course, perhaps she identified on her own that she lacks purpose, but rather than take responsibility for not finding it, she blames all the others around her- namely you.
You are the reason for her sadness.
Because you do not support her dreams or you do not make enough money to enable her to quit her crappy job and seek her dream career.
You’ve both got bills to pay after all.
But somehow it’s your fault for her lack of fulfillment.
She claims you hold her back, but erroneously believes that a life with her lover will open the doors to new opportunities.
This is a faulty example of a cheating wife with an exit strategy.
Insatiable. Gets Bored Easily.
Perhaps this only applies to newly weds or younger wives because I cannot imagine a wife who gets bored easily lasting more than a few years before wanting out.
Romance, sex and promises of trips to Europe and candlelight dinners in the city sound exhilarating, but they won’t last.
And if your serial cheating wife envisioned the exciting parts of marriage then how she may not have handled things well when reality set it.
I think we all enter marriage with an earful of advice from the long-time married couples who remind us to be mindful that the “honeymoon phase” will end- so be prepared.
However, we all ignore it and think that we can somehow beat the odds because we possess a unique love bond.
The honeymoon phase is real.
And you can’t have fancy dinners out on the town every week and go to Rome every other month.
Instead of finding the pleasure in the little things and allowing true love to blossom, she decided to shop elsewhere.
And the new lover “magically” solves all her boredom problems.
Loves Conditionally/ Lack of Empathy
You know if you think about it, not everyone is relationship material, let alone, marriage material, yet people get married anyway, even though they shouldn’t.
And just because you might be marriage material doesn’t mean she is, or at least not yet.
Because of all the traits on this list.
Anyone who possesses many of these toxic traits on this list, or even on this list of 101 toxic personality traits, then they have no business committing to a life-long relationship.
True Love = Unconditional Love.
When two people unite as one and be selfless, then they have no reason to cheat and look for love outside the relationship when it sits right in front of them.
Desire for Instant Gratification
Like the saying goes, “Good things come to those who wait.”
But when you combine the desire for pleasure right now with sense of entitlement, insatiable, blames others for holding her back and, well, hell, do I need to continue, then you have a recipe for disaster.
I’d say it’s just a matter of time before another guy comes along (again) and your serial cheating wife falls back on her toxic behavior and smoothly transitions back into cheating.
I ask you, no, I beg of you to ask yourself: “Why in God’s name would you knowingly desire to stay with a woman who exhibits many of these traits?”
EVERYONE of these traits my ex- serial cheating wife possessed.
I ignored the signs, gave her a second chance, which only gave her more time to complete her exit strategy and ultimately leave without warning.
I don’t want you to fall into a depression abyss.
Instead I want you to avoid it.
But, you’ve come this far into the post and still think there’s hope, so consider now please that if your serial cheating wife possesses many of the traits from this list AND also has EASY opportunities to cheat after she has already done it, then what do you expect will happen.
What do I mean by easy opportunities to cheat?
Here you go, here is a list from my own personal experience of my ex serial cheating wife and my wasteful time dating a married woman:
Easy-to-Cheat Opportunities: The Times and Scenarios that Your Wife Can Most Easily Get Away with Cheating
She is far away and can always make up a work-related reason not to answer the phone or your texts. And reflecting your pleas to schedule a time to reconnect is a breeze too. She can swat you away like and treat you like a pestering fly. The worst part is you’d never even know who’s bed she sleeps in, or if she’s even on a business trip in the first place.
Spends Lots of Time Home Alone
While you hustle at work to make ends meet, she feels trapped at home. But instead of finding a healthy way to overcome her loneliness she chooses an alternative that comes with a shaky future and consequences. Does she give you a chance and talk through her issues so you can find a solution? Nope. She’s secretive and doesn’t trust that you have her best interests in mind.
Job with Changing Hours
Without a predictable work schedule she can make it up. You never actually know when she is working and when she is not. What makes it more difficult is when she drives to the job herself and the employee parking lot is off limits and you can’t enter. Of course, I don’t know if stalking is the answer, but let’s face it- she already cheated before and this scenario makes it very easy to get away with.
And what about those times she says she stays late for OT, or that she got stuck in a call?
Late-Night Hours Job
A worse situation than the previous one is when your serial cheating wife has the opposite schedule as you and she works late after you’ve already gone to bed. Instead of going to work one night, she could meet a lover at his place, and you’d never know because you’d be in bed.
Job Far from Home
A lot can happen between home and work, especially when it takes over 45 minutes to get there. Combine this with the excuse of staying later to finish a project or help out when people call in and this becomes a viable excuse and way to buy more time to spend for your serial cheating wife to spend with her lover.
Hangs Out with Male Work Friends
When you choose to get married then changing the routines you once had as a single person go along with it.
Anyone is capable of falling into temptation when feelings are involved, especially for someone who exhibits traits from the list above.
Your wife spending time with men out of your presence only puts your already broken relationship into harms way.
Do not risk playing with fire.
Communicates Regularly with Same Male Work Friends Away from the Job
This could easily lead to your wife confiding in a man when she feels sad and has no one to talk to who understands her.
The workplace is one of the leading breeding grounds for affairs for just this reason.
It happened to me and it happens to a lot of people.
Married people should not be secretly communicating with opposite sex co-workers outside of work for non-job-related issues.
This too plays with fire.
It often leads to digital and Facebook cheating and emotional affairs.
Maintains Separate Finances
I struggled with this one, but if you really trust each other than you both should have access to each other’s finances.
Owning separate bank accounts opens the door for hiding secrets like purchasing gifts for lovers or hotel stays.
Separate accounts may not create an affair, but it certainly makes it easier to commit one under the wrong circumstances.
Gets Rides from Male Co-workers
I get it. I do.
When you share one car or when one of your cars breaks down then this causes an inconvenient situation to occur.
Use Uber or Lyft.
Ask a female friend or relative to give her a ride home.
A male co-worker giving your wife a ride home does not mean she will fall in love with him.
But again, this supports a pattern that down the road will be impossible to break and could lead for easy opportunities for things to get ugly quick.
If you’re married to a woman who has already shown tendencies to cheat then she already knows how to get away with an affair.
Once she justifies infidelity again, she will know how to hide her secrets better than she did the first time.
She can choose which guy to give her a ride home.
And how do you know that there were no “detours”?
Don’t take the chance.
Takes Routine Get-away Trips with Single Female Friends
This one is very similar to taking business trips.
It’s not to hard to make up a fake trip, especially if you do not even know these friends or ever even see them.
Anytime she takes a trip on her own, even if it is legit she can go a day early or take a detour.
She may go where she says she is going, and even may come back from that same place, but in-between she could fly somewhere else.
I’ve read cheating wives stories and gotten emails from betrayed husbands whose had affairs with wealthy men who would fly them in on private jets and back out, or just pay for their flights.
For example, these cheating wives would go to, say, Miami for a shopping trip, then their lover would fly them to Dallas for one night, and then fly her back to Chicago before she returned to your home city of Washington D.C.
Or in my case, my ex would fly home to Japan, but through New York for a few days first where she would meet up with her boyfriend.
Goes Clubbing and to Bars with Single Female Friends
Talk about a breeding ground for an affair.
Horny men will do anything to get their hands on a MILF.
If you don’t know what a MILF is then look it up.
A married woman hanging out with her single horny friends is about the dumbest thing a married man could do if he wants to cheat-proof his marriage.
Your wife could easily get turned on by the right guy with the right approach.
Ignore all the BS about her right to hang out with friends in this situation.
If she wants to be married in a healthy long-term relationship then she should act like it.
If she wants to stay single then she shouldn’t get married?
Maybe dancing once at a club, with other TRUSTWORTHY, married women, who you know, is one thing.
However, a regular routine of clubbing with single ladies is not the right move.
She Showed the Signs of a Cheating Wife All Along … and you just chose not to believe it
Your serial cheating wife probably displayed cheating traits and signs before you even got married, and sure enough they led to an affair.
You read the list of these signs and traits further up on this post.
These personality flaws and unfulfilled feelings got left unaddressed and unresolved, probably over a long period of time.
It takes some a while to justify their desires to themselves.
You had the opportunity to take a glimpse at these flaws through her past and current actions, her testimonials of her interactions with others and whenever she shared her beliefs and values with you.
They disturbed you, yet you ignored them.
I did the same.
The things she said, how she handled controversy with others and how she treated others screamed “red alert” in both your head and mine.
As for me, instead of heeding the reality that my relationship was set on a crash-course voyage, I chose Fantasyland.
I wanted to believe that love conquered all and that things would work themselves out.
You don’t have to choose that route.
Maybe the most prudent person can address and change these flaws, but an extremely low percentage of people do.
They don’t even think that they have a problem.
Often times in affairs the cheating spouse even blames the affair on the innocent spouse.
Can Your Serial Cheating Wife Change?
A serial cheater blames others and other reasons for their emptiness.
What are the chances that your wife will take responsibility and change?
I ask you, how has she handled taking responsibility for her own actions in the past?
What’s her success rate for turning things around?
In the end, what does your gut feeling tell you?
Will you just waste time in a dead-end relationship?
Are you on a sinking ship, or will she patch up the holes in the hull she caused to keep it afloat?
She Must See Her Own Issues and Seek Help
The person who does the breaking must do the fixing.
You can only offer support.
The cheating spouse must first want to stay in the relationship and then proactively take the action to earn your trust back.
It is their decision and not yours.
The only decision you have is it worth the risk to stay in the relationship.
And even if you do stay, and things do seem to miraculously turn around for the better, how long will that last?
If You Feel There’s a Chance to Save Your Marriage then Here are My Recommendations
Despite everything I have shared here in this post, if you feel in your heart that she regrets what she did and wants to save your marriage then I would recommend you purchase and download these eBooks.
They have all helped me and thousands of other betrayed husbands either save their marriage or at least save themselves.
1. Decide If It’s Worth Staying Married to Your Wife
Discover the Probability of Her Cheating Again on a Scale of 1-10
May I share some life-changing advice? It starts with you. When I first learned about my wife’s affair I needed help. I came across this affair recovery ebook written by a professional marriage therapist, Dr. Bob Huizenga.
Learn about the author/therapist Dr Bob Huizenga’s 7 types of affairs and the probability your marriage survives (scale of 1-10).
I can honestly tell you his advice saved me.
It made it clear that, in my case, I had to leave the relationship.
And no, the pain did not completely go away regarding what my serial cheater wife did.
However, the book helped me take control of my life.
However, if you feel in your gut, that you have a chance to save your marriage, then I suggest “Break Free from the Affair”.
It will arm you with customized strategies and phrases to use on her to turn things around.
[Click Here] to learn more about how identifying which of the “Break Free from the Affair” 7 kinds of affairs and how Dr. Huizenga’s 1-10 scales can help you decide how to approach your wife.
Or read my detailed review of Break Free from the Affair.
2. How to Survive Your Wife’s Affair … written by a Betrayed Husband Who Saved His Marriage
…and Now Helps Other Husbands Save Theirs
By now you may have already heard about Kevin Jackson’s ebook “Survive Her Affair”.
His team emailed me a copy to review. Most of the book is spot on with how I feel as a man whose wife cheated on him. Kevin’s thorough research and personal interviews with marriage therapists and psychologists provide his broken-heart readers with hope.
If you desire to sort out the painful feelings associated with an affair then read my “Survive Her Affair” Review
[Click Here] to read more information about Kevin Jackson’s life-changing book “Survive Her Affair”.
3. Advice for Your Regretful Cheating Wife to Earn Your Trust Back
If She Wants to Repair the Damage She Caused Then…
Read my review of Dr. Frank Gunzburg’s “How to Survive an Affair”
Actually the advice is designed for the two of you to work together, but Dr. Gunzburg wrote half of this guide to help your wife learn how she can successfully rebuild your trust back.
If she has shown interest in repairing your marriage then…
Visit Dr. Gunzburg’s site to read more information about his guide “How to Survive and Affair”.
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