If you could save your marriage forever would you do whatever it took?
Or could you live with regret that you didn’t give your best shot?
Your quest to renew the bond you once shared between you and your spouse comes with challenges.
One challenge is to calm your storm of emotions.
You want to lash out and say or do whatever comes to your mind, but you realize deep inside that will only stoke the fire, not cool it off.
Save Your Marriage Forever- 3 Easy Love Laws will show you many techniques that renown marriage therapist Dr. Bob Huizenga shares with his Skype and in-person clients.
Remain Calm, Under Control- Then Reconnect with Your Partner
His unconventional techniques show you how to renew a deep emotional connection. And you will do so while calm and collect without pushing your spouse to do or say something they feel obligated to do.
Huizenga equips you with processes and tips to follow what he administers in his sessions with his clients.
From them you will successfully recognize what barriers stand between your emotional rut and obtaining a new feeling of relief and strength.
You will learn how to shift away from feelings of helplessness and fear that you will lose your partner or feel stuck in an emotionless marriage.
And you will also gain the ability to spot when you arrive at an impasse, miss-communicate a message or receive unspoken push back; and then calmly redirect the momentum to a healthy resolution.
Expect to uncover some of the most complete self-guided relationship tips and techniques of any relationship book you’ve read whether related to marriage or dating.
But before you invest your hard earned money and limited time on Save Your Marriage Forever please read my unbiased, detailed review.
It will provide you with and sneak peek before purchasing your own copy.
What Makes “Save Your Marriage Forever- 3 Easy Love Laws” Different
Simply, it contains easy and natural ways to reignite the love in your relationship instead of working hard to “fix” something that is broken in the marriage like most conventional advice suggests.
When you feel that something needs fixed then you in turn feel unworthy and helpless.
“Save Your Marriage Forever- the 3 Easy Love Laws” helps train you to win back the relationship you deeply miss without working, repairing, poking or prodding.
Typical marriage counseling advice would ask you to:
- Talk through your problems.
- Become a better listener.
- Learn conflict resolution skills.
- Be romantic.
- Go on trips.
- Date again.
And other tips that suggest that the answer to solve your emotionally dying relationship has to do with acquiring something or some valuable asset that you do not possess.
The author Dr. Bob Huizenga believes that working at a relationship only overwhelms you both. This mainstream advice has the opposite effect to make you feel better.
It pushes your partner further apart because it feels awkward to them and your partner often ends up resenting your advancements.
They feel forced.
On the other hand, his “3 Easy Laws” enlighten you to ignore society’s shallow value system where we must romantically perform in some way to impress our partner.
He believes you can reboot the love in your relationship WITHOUT becoming better listeners, without pushing or pulling, rekindling romance or spending insane amount of money on marriage rebooting trips or fancy restaurants.
You’re Fine the Way You Are, Don’t Change You
The answers are inside you and you do not need to change.
Instead you will learn to spontaneously reconnect with each other and release the tension that’s holding you both back from embracing one another.
Less tension, frustration, fear and caution.
More relief, excitement and joy.
And Dr. Huizenga claims you can do a complete marriage turn around in 27 days if you follow the guide as it is designed.
(According to him it takes 27 days to create new habits and ways of thinking. He compares this habit-breaking process to the movie “Ground Hog Day” with Bill Murray. You’ll find out more information on the movie in the book if you haven’t seen it.)
So you will not need to do the following after reading Save Your Marriage Forever:
Not become a better listener? Avoid learning conflict resolution skills?
Sounds like odd advice.
So, yes, I was bit skeptical after reading the intro.
Certainly nothing like other books I’ve read regarding saving marriage.
To be clear on something though- this eBook is not for everyone.
I could suggest other books to help you after you finish this review.
Then who is “Save Your Marriage Forever- the 3 Easy Love Laws” for?
Read on to find out…
Who WILL BENEFIT from “SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE FOREVER” by Dr. Bob Huizenga?
Not quite ready to meet with a marriage therapist or counselor?
Then Save Your Marriage Forever gives you a good resource to start. You will learn some techniques to speak your mind freely with your spouse and to bridge the emotional gap between you two.
Do you fear that your emotionally distant spouse will run away if you force them to talk about the problems?
Then Save Your Marriage Forever will open your eyes to new ways to engage with your spouse without pushing them to talk.
Do you feel pressure to perform in your marriage, like you must offer something of value in order to receive love?
Save Your Marriage Forever sheds light on the damaging, misguided ideas we all have regarding how marriage should function.
Feel all alone, with nowhere to turn for advice, no real understanding of how to get your husband or wife’s attention?
Save Your Marriage Forever will show you how to make your voice heard. In addition to gaining personal power in the relationship, you will learn how to make it easy and comfortable for your spouse to work with you.
Only want to read?
Save Your Marriage Forever acts more like a workbook than just a book to skim in order to feel uplifted through motivational anecdotes.
You may want to start with “Save My Marriage Today” by Amy Waterman which had effective action tips too, but not as detailed and heavy as Dr. Huizinga’s book. (Click here to read my review of Amy Waterman’s “Save My Marriage Today”)
Who Will NOT BENEFIT from “SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE FOREVER” by Dr. Bob Huizenga?
If your marriage suffers from an affair then Save Your Marriage Forever is not the right book to start with. I recommend reading my review of his other popular book Break Free from the Affair. Click here to read my review.
Not really for someone who does not enjoy reading. The lessons are detailed and require re-reading many parts to get the points.
You find yourself in a physically or verbally abusive relationship. If you feel in danger then you should consider reaching out to community support groups or find a safe place to stay until you figure out your next step.
Both you and your spouse come from extremely different backgrounds that keep popping up in discussions or possess some other polarizing beliefs (religion).
**ALTERNATIVE CHOICE: You might even experience toxic or sensitive issues (spending habits, gambling, substance abuse, etc.) then Save Your Marriage Forever is not the right choice. Instead I suggest you read my review of Amy Waterman’s “Save My Marriage Today”.
PROS and CONs of “SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE FOREVER”
I value your time and money. So therefore, none of my reviews simply point out just the positives for the purpose of making the product look perfect.
No product is perfect.
I want you to make the right decision and because of that I will share the negative points where I see room for improvement.
My PROs: What I Like About “SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE FOREVER”
The charts that Dr. Huizenga includes to make learning his lessons more interesting and engaging.
Direction how to choose which points to prioritize. This eliminates information overload. For example, choosing which fears of rejection (on left side of chart) we would like to shift away from and which new healthy ways to engage with our spouse we would like to adopt (on the right side).
Throughout each module Dr. Huizenga inserts exercises to help you reflect on what you learned and how to extract the most from the lessons, including word-for-word phrases to improve your success immediately.
Some of the modules include comments on how other readers of the book benefited from the lessons. Furthermore, Dr. Huizenga mixes up the type of exercises to make it more interesting to learn.
Rating scales to measure whether you are ready to engage in healthy ways with your spouse or must shift away from fearful thinking.
Helps you define and differentiate between a marriage in crisis and a healthy one. Dr. Huizenga labels three kinds of marriages (Red, Yellow and Green)
My CONs: What I Do NOT Like About “SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE FOREVER”
The introduction goes on too long about what not to do instead of what to do to apply the “3 Easy Love Laws”.
The book does not have page numbers marked so in order to jump to certain ones you must view it with a PDF converter like Adobe Acrobat, and not on your Google, OneDrive or other cloud saving drive. This limited my ability to jump to certain sections as I reviewed it.
I would have liked to have seen more examples of successful cases from his clients, from start to finish like I’ve seen in dating books. I only read one.
Some of the page numbers are incorrect in the Table of Contents. Keys 6-8 of the “Critical Keys to Saving Your Marriage” are not on pages 31 and 32 like the book displays. You’ll find them on pages 41 and 42 instead.
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My Top 5 Marriage-Turn-Around Lessons of “Save Your Marriage Forever- the 3 Easy Love Laws”
Dr. Huizenga breaks down his marriage turn around program into 10 modules and encapsulates them over a 27-day period.
He charts out what to accomplish each day on your own and when to engage together.
No, you won’t have to wait 27 days to start noticing a difference in your partner and feeling better.
Expect to see results within the first week.
Believe me that “Save Your Marriage Forever” will reveal more relationship saving secrets than five, but I do not want to overwhelm and tire you out.
After all the eBook contains 265 pages.
You have plenty of tips and recommendations to cover within the first few seconds of downloading it.
1. Discovering Your Relationship Needs: 21 Shifts from What You Fear to What You Want
The table on page 29 provides an easy-to-learn lesson in graphic form.
Even to this day I still use the concept.
Do you ever feel you want something in a relationship, but you don’t know what it is?
Instead you feel stuck and helpless.
You may think to yourself, “It seems like my spouse takes advantage of me. I feel like I give, but he/she only takes. My husband/wife treats me so unfairly.”
In this case you have identified what you do not like and do not want, but you still must figure out what you DO want to break out of the emotional rut.
This chart on page 29 introduces you to the technique of plotting what new habit you want to achieve in the relationship. Then you make the mental shift away from the negative, helpless feeling toward the one that will give you a powerful stance in the relationship.
To reference the case above you move away from “He/she takes advantage of me” to “I want speak freely about what I want too and not fear my husband/wife not listening.”
The table on page 29 contains 21 healthy mind shift examples that introduce you to the technique of making mental shifts, but “Save Your Marriage Forever” contains various similar tables throughout the 265 pages.
2. The 8 Critical Keys to Save Your Marriage
Dr. Huizenga introduces the keys early in his eBook that comprise of the fundamental mindsets to rely on in order to achieve good mental health.
Here are my favorite of the 8:
Key # 1: Marriage-Killing Thoughts: the Top Destructive Thoughts You MUST UNLEARN
In Module 2, Page 34, Dr. Huizenga inserts a table that outlays the main destructive thoughts that sabotage your relationship. He goes into more details later in the book (I touch on that section here in my list further down). All these self-defeating ideas that we learn as we grow up about saving your marriage came from what you see on TV or in the movies or from draw from the “perfect” relationships we observe of others.
But Huizenga suggests that many of these thoughts cost you much frustration and bring on failure.
Key# 5: Make Distinctions: Basic Skill to Avoid Huge Misunderstandings and Reconnect
Counselors must help their clients distinguish between one feeling and another. This helps the client to avoid rambling on in generalities and instead more precisely describing their feelings so that they can pinpoint exactly what they want to accomplish or what bothers them.
Obtaining the ability to identify your exact feelings and properly verbalizing what you feel to your partner will solve many miscommunication problems.
Without this fundamental skill your partner will struggle to understand you and then just “fill in the blank” with a guess.
Obviously they could guess wrong and the miscommunication problem continues.
Learn to start making distinctions between feelings with Dr. Huizenga’s table that starts on page 39.
Key# 7: Meta-Commenting: The #1 technique you must apply that indicates good mental health.
As you seek new healthy ways to express yourself and engage with your spouse to regain your lost love, you will need to rely on one skill that processes and evaluates these shifts.
That’s where meta-commenting assists you.
Dr. Huizenga introduces it on page 39.
Things will start to move quickly and you must obtain the ability to interpret what just happened so you can decide what to do next.
Essentially you step back and ask yourself questions to make sense of it.
In the middle of a conversation you stop to contemplate what your spouse just said.
“That’s important. Finally I get what she means.”
“No, wait. I still do not understand what he means. If I don’t get this point, then the rest of his points will not make sense.”
On page 39 you will find a table of constructive distinctions to improve your ability to express your specific feelings.
Meta-commenting is the final Step in Dr. Huizenga’s “Groundhog Process” which is the umbrella cycle that comprises of all the skills I’ve already mentioned and that you will learn in “Save Your Marriage Forever”.
I also touch base on the “Groundhog Process” in my next key point.
3. “The Groundhog Process”: How to Gain Control of Your Desperate, Helpless Feelings and Turn Your Marriage Around [Module #3]
The “Groundhog Process” provides you a sort of self-therapy framework to keep you safe, moving forward and productive. It helps you reconnect with your spouse/partner to enjoy each other again instead of acting and feeling like roommates.
It achieves this by making you aware of the negative thoughts that keep you stuck and steering clear of the desperate reactions that push your partner away.
Have you ever attempted to achieve a special goal, but kept failing at it?
It always seemed like you would get close to figure it out only to just miss?
This is where the “Groundhog Process” will help you, according to Huizenga. It will assist you to make you aware of the same repetitive techniques that you try to employ that don’t succeed and finding new ways instead.
Huizenga heavily references the Groundhog Process in the sections that help you identify which type of marriage you have (Red-in crisis; Yellow- frustrating; Green- healthy).
It consists of 5 steps.
Follow the steps and you will end your relationship rut. You will find ways to help build a bridge in which both you and your partner will comfortably want to cross and meet in the middle.
The module even includes an easy-to-follow graphic.
Huizenga admits that the actual process is called meta-cognition and meta-commenting and has existed for a long time.
I can personally attest that it has helped me avoid a lot of frustration and crisis in all my relationships and allowed me to connect deeply with the people I care most about.
Learn the 5 steps in Module 3.
4. Unlearning Everything We Know: The Top 10 Faulty Assumptions of Marriage
Dr. Huizenga highlights 10 ways that we sabotage our marriage saving tactics due to all the mixed messages we learn by default throughout life. We draw on lessons from pop culture and from observing others around us that cause more damage than good.
In order to dive deep in to the understanding of how these faulty marriage assumptions damage our marriage Huizenga employs the steps in his Groundhog Process.
I find Huizenga’s “Faulty Ideas numbers: 2, 3 and 5 especially useful.
Faulty Idea #2: We Must Talk, Especially About Our Feelings, to Rebuild Love and Trust
Most traditional advice you read about saving marriage recommends you to talk your problems out.
“Let’s talk about our marriage problems. Let’s find what’s broken so we can fix it.”
Sounds normal, right?
However, Huizenga shares a list of ten reasons why talking about marriage problems only pushes you both further apart.
Under the right circumstances it could work; otherwise, forcing your partner to talk will produce negative results.
Rekindle love without talking.
Huizenga advises how to do this in his marriage category sections.
Faulty Idea #3: We Must Have or Recapture the Romance in Our Marriage
Rekindling romance produces images of kisses on beaches in pouring down rain, romantic getaways, Valentine’s Day or anything that creates a spark.
Who doesn’t love electrifying kisses, chocolates and flowers?
The problem Huizenga claims is that when the sizzling romantic feelings disappear then we assume that love no longer exists.
Then we jump to conclusions that something lacks in the relationship and now we need to fix it.
And we then proceed to beat ourselves up when we no longer fuel our love with these sparks.
On the contrary, this is normal.
Recapturing romance does not mean recapturing “excitement”.
Our ideas of romance in marriage equate to fantasy- something mythical that doesn’t exist, like in the movies.
Dr. Huizenga discusses how to create a deeper emotional connection in his “Green Marriage” section.
Faulty Idea #5: Marriage Should Be Modeled After Ward and June Cleaver (Husband and Wives Should Follow Marriage Roles)
How do you feel when you do not perform your role as husband, wife, mother or father?
We grow up feeling we must follow these rigid rules of performing for others and providing for their needs.
This only leads to feelings of unfulfillment.
The husband kills himself working as a provider and subsequently strips himself of his own freedom.
The wife tends to the children every waking need and she feels like no one returns the favor.
If couples do not work as teammates and do whatever to help each other, even if that means temporarily switching roles, then we pave the way for resentment to set in.
5. Red, Yellow or Green: What Kind of Marriage Do You Have?
Want a deep emotional connection, void of rules and roles to follow?
Aim for a Green Marriage.
Green Marriages equal peace, mutually understanding and no drama.
Not perfection, rather the ideal position a married couple should seek.
But in order to create this ideal situation you must gauge in which relationship you currently find yourself.
Starting on page 144, place checkmarks next to each question of all 3 categories of marriages. Tally them up and see how you scored to indicate how to classify your current marriage status.
After you discover which marriage category you find yourself in then proceed to read that section and partake in the exercises.
From there Dr. Huizenga’s “Groundhog Process” will guide you step-by-step to move away from the Red Marriage in crisis or the Yellow Marriage full of misunderstandings and frustrations.
“SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE FOREVER” Summary
Save Your Marriage Forever offers you a step-by-step method to hit the reset button with your spouse in order to rebuild the lost connection you once shared.
Dr. Huizenga’s unconventional technique of rebuilding love without talking or working on the marriage has aided many couples in similar situations like yours.
Prepare yourself not only to bridge the gap between you and your spouse, but also to design your own new communication techniques.
These techniques will stomp out your old fears and frustrations that you cannot speak your mind.
But you will also learn to do it in a way that benefits you and the relationship.
The eBook extends out to 265 pages.
Do not attempt to read it in one sitting, despite how desperate you may feel to quickly resolve your marital problems.
A fair warning: too many times the book seems quite robotic and returns to the same cycle of steps in the Groundhog Process.
You get bored and weighed down by the cerebral details.
But if you let the book run the course of the full 27 days and do not jump ahead then you will find Save Your Marriage Forever to be one of the most complete marriage counseling books you have read.
Use what you learn with your spouse in action rather than just read and reflect and you will exhaust all the tips and action steps that fill these 265 pages.
If you feel physically or emotionally in danger in your relationship (man or woman) then I recommend you to jump down to read the Red Marriage module.
Answer the questions on page 152 before you even start the book.
Then compare your answers to what Dr. Huizenga’s recommends you do next.
Interested in Purchasing Your Own Copy?
Click here to watch a short video about Save You Marriage Forever 3 Easy Love Laws. (You will redirect to another page onto Dr. Huizenga’s site).
Personal One-on-One Marriage Coaching with Dr. Bob Huizenga
For many of you this book will only serve as a starting point to train you for more in-depth one-on-one training with a professional marriage counselor.
Even Dr. Huizenga offers personal coaching.
Email Me for Negotiated Marriage Rates
If after downloading and reading Save Your Marriage Forever you decide you want to inquire about the pricing of Dr. Huizenga’s personal coaching sessions over Skype.
Email me first.
I may be able to negotiate a deal directly with him for you.
My email is Orlando@InfidelityFirstAidKit.com
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