Break Free from the Affair by Dr. Robert Huizenga: Is this book a scam or legit?
Summary of Major Points: Specific Claimed Benefits
- Raise Confidence and Self-Esteem: Specific actions to regain confidence and protect your self-esteem.
- Gain Power in Relationship: Exact messaging and strategies to remove the feeling of control from your cheating spouse.
- 7 Types of Affairs: Identify the specific type of affair that afflicted your marriage. Discover why your cheating spouse decided to commit infidelity.
- Customized Tips Specific to His/Her Type of Affair: Customize a plan of actions, messages, ways of acting and thinking, to illicit positive responses from your cheating spouse based on the type of affair he/she committed.
- Determine to Stay or Leave: Answer questions to determine if you will feel happier and stronger staying in the marriage and fixing it. Or decide if you’d be better off leaving based on the specific type of affair and personality of your cheating spouse.
- Quick Tips to Feel in Control of Your Life and Protect Your Integrity: tips to take care of yourself instead of letting your emotions spiral downward and feel happy regardless of your spouse’s disloyalty.
Summary PROs and CONs of Break Free from the Affair by Dr. Robert Huizenga
- 7 Types of Affairs. Helps to identify the type of affair my cheating spouse committed.
- Author’s attempt to address the complexities of each type of affair.
- Quick tips to lift self-esteem and keep confidence strong.
- What immediate actions to perform and messages to communicate to avoid pushing your spouse away and prolong the affair.
- The “stay or go” rating system to determine the probability that your marriage is worth saving.
- The questions he asked me to answer to determine if it made more sense for me to stay or leave.
- Confusing 7 Types of Affairs wording. It seemed like my wife committed more than one type of affair.
- Lack of links in Table of Contents to jump to specific sections.
- Wished it were a series of smaller books.
- Wished there were more than just 7 types of affairs, it was good, but could have been more specific with subcategories of
What I like about this Book
Dr. Robert Huizenga attempts to address the complexity of affairs and relationships. People fall into affairs, some people carefully plan, some regret their bad choice, others could care less how you feel. So I like that he breaks down different reasons why people choose to commit infidelity in his book “Break Free from the Affair”.
Dr. Huizenga breaks down personality traits and matches them up with why a cheating spouse claims to cheat in his 7 Types of Affairs.
He provides specific ways to immediately feel strong which I did use myself and exact phrase to say to your spouse to portray to them you will remain strong with or without them, but that you wish to stay together if they want the same. More importantly he shows you how to both convince yourself and your cheating spouse that they decided to cheat, it was their decision, and not your fault.
He attempts to help you determine which specific type of affair your cheating spouse committed and personalizes his advice around which affair is appropriate to your relationship.
*The Unique Feature from Break Free from the Affair*
Particularly what stands out to me in Break Free from the Affair is the 1-10 rating system he creates to help you determine the chances your marriage have of surviving the affair together.
Not all marriages will survive affair and many of you are better off moving on alone and finding a new life and eventually a new partner. So thank you Dr. Huizenga for not shoving the generic, “All marriages can survive affairs.” If you read my post about serial cheater personality traits you would understand or my infidelity story.
His list of 12 tactics to negative things to avoid doing to prolong the affair provide lots of immediate affair recovery action too.
Now on to the part of the review of what I don’t like about Break Free from the Affair.
Details of What I Don’t Like about this Book
I don’t like the layout of the book. I find the names of the 7 types of affairs confusing. They often sound the same and the personality characteristics in each affair type seem to repeat themselves. I don’t like categorizing an affair type by what the cheating spouse claims was their reason- they have many reasons!
Maybe I over analyze.
Although Dr Huizenga claims and attempts to reclaim more than once that people and affairs are complex I think this book is short to cover the topic. Short can be good too. You don’t get overwhelmed as easily. His lists of quick action to take helped me from spiraling out of control emotionally.
I believe he could have created a series of smaller books.
His table of contents needs links. I want to jump from section to section. Instead I scroll up and down. I can’t remember where I read something important then keep scrolling until I do.
Check what people said about Break Free from the Affair right from the official site.
- “My wife had #6, she needed to prove her desirability. Your book, which I now suggest to everyone in my situation, really nailed her personality type and issues related to the affair.” – Derick
- “I reread it anytime I start feeling that things are getting out of control. It helps put things in perspective.” – Sally
- “I just want you to know how comforting I’ve found “Break Free… “I am actually beginning to personally detach myself from this whole situation. There is no comparison between my present mental/emotional state today and just 3 weeks ago. I feel pretty confident to confront my husband now.” – Joan
- “Thanks for giving me back my sanity and assuring me that I am not deficient, the marriage was not horrible, etc.” -Barbara
Summary and My Overall Score: 8
Scale 1- 10 (1 Scam, Waste of Money; 10 Legit, Worth Buying)
I do wish the 7 types of affairs were major categories instead of phrases the cheater uses to determine why they chose to have an affair. They could have been subcategories. I also still have trouble scrolling up and down and would rather jump to sections.
The book goes into more detail than I anticipated and I do like how the author customizes the advice specific to his certain types of affairs.
This is not meant for someone who wants to read it then expect something magical to happen. Break Free from the Affair is more a program than a book. It is not meant for you if you are experiencing panic attacks right now. I would suggest seeing if you have benefits that cover mental help counselors. You need to see someone in person.
Now if you want some quick tips and new way of seeing how you are not a victim and why, then you would benefit from reading this. The real value of “Break Free from the Affair” lies in Dr. Huizenga’s suggested action tactics to feel in control of your life and entice your spouse to DESIRE you again and WANT to rebuild your marriage into a joyful and fulfilling experience again.
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My overall opinion is despite some lacking characteristics and clarification of the differences between the 7 Types of Affairs I find the book helpful overall and LEGIT.