Many women fear love due to past painful experiences. And this fear dampers the little hope that many single women over 30 have to believe in love once again.
Single life provides one big benefit, of course: freedom.
Freedom to come and go as you please. And many mature single women need time to heal after leaving a relationship in which they invested so much time and energy.
They need that freedom to focus on themselves.
And let’s face it, the single life is better than an ugly relationship full of fights. It trumps a toxic relationship, but you certainly miss the feelings of a long-term relationship, don’t you?
The pain of loneliness stings as you watch other happy couples around you out at dinner or walking hand-in-hand while shopping at the mall during the holidays serves as a reminder that you’d like to relive those moments sooner than later.
So what holds some midlife women from holding back?
Why Even Bother Dating Right Now Anyway?
You’ve gone down this road before. You’re certainly no newbie to long-term relationships. You’ve had your share of boyfriends in the past. And maybe you even married for several years.
Those fond memories seem to drift further away with each passing day though.
“But that pain.”
“That pain of starting over, the patient wait and search for the right compatible man. Huh, not to mention one who makes you laugh and who pays attention to what matters to you most.”
“Then when you finally find the one who you like he disappears and never texts or calls back.”
“What’s the use? Why should I start over when I already found what I had been looking for (at least I thought I did)?”
Truthfully why women fear love doesn’t differ much from why us men fear love, but let’s look at what one of the professional online dating coaches, whose current blog boasts of over 9 million female followers, what he thinks.
I referenced the list below from some of his blog posts and his popular eBook, “Believe in Love” (you can read my detailed review of the book here).
7 [All-Too-Familiar] Reasons Why Women Fear Love…and what really holds them back by Evan Marc Katz “Online Dating Coach”
Ultimately whether you’re a man or woman no one likes the feeling of uncertainty. I’m sure most of you could identify with the roller-coaster-ride relationship where one moment you feel on the top of the world and the next at the bottom of the ocean. The question why women fear love go on for an eternity, but how can loving women like you who simply just want a normal relationship start to believe in love again after all the disappointment you’ve gone experienced?
Unpredictable people and relationships drain all of us.
So here Evan Marc Katz spotlights some of those fears women seeking happy relationships again must overcome.
1. Months of Dating (perhaps sex too)…and He STILL Doesn’t Commit
You’ve gone out twice a week or more for months. Both of you already met each others’ parents. He has a key to your place, stays overnight quite a bit and even prepares you a pancake and egg breakfast.
“So why won’t he call himself my boyfriend?” you wonder.
2. Flirtatious Texts, Steamy Make-Out Sessions…then nothing, he disappears
Finally someone who you like, likes you back. You can’t stay away from each other long enough before you start to itch to see one another again. Every second feels like a dream come true. Then he just disappears, vanished into thin air. Not even a reply to your text.
“Was it something I said. What turned him off so suddenly?”
3. So Many Great Men…but None Want Me
The cute guy in the office at the end of the hall, the insanely in-shape man who shops at the same organic store and the adorably father who walks his daughter to school every day. They smile and nod, but none seem interested, yet the nervous and insecure men seem to form a line behind me. Why women fear love often stems from not finding it in the first place.
“Why bother dating men who I don’t find attractive?”
4. Will This One Cheat Too?…Lack of Trust Equals Partial Happiness
I’d bet many of you experienced cheating at some point (as the cheater or the betrayed- I have). Due to those experiences the thought of mistrust looms in the back of our minds. Who wants to waste their time investing their energy into a relationship if in the end they could two-time us?
The “secretive” made my list for my blog post 101 Toxic People Signs: Bump in the Road or Dead-end Relationship and personally affected my last relationship. My ex-spouse kept more secrets than the CIA.
I came across this blog post pertaining to mistrust, “Who do you trust?” by Evan Marc Katz. He claims that you know you’ve found Mr. Right when situations that normally would set of scandalous, mistrust alarms in your head do not scare you in the least. Why? Because you know their character and pattern- you completely trust them.
“How do I know I can trust a man who seems to good to be true?”
5. Anxiety and the Man Crystal Ball…does he want to go out again?
Anxiety sucks! Waiting for the guy to make picks away at your mind like a woodpecker. Did he email yet? When will he call? Will he call? One of the first big steps in dating is to find someone we like and whom also likes us back. Most of the time the answer is obvious, black or white.
But women fear love often because it tests their patience and messes with their emotions. Some days all men look a heaven-sent answer to your prayers and other days they all look evil and carry the plague.
And what about those in-between times when you want to nudge the guy along to ask you out again? Like in this Evan Marc Katz post regarding a reader’s email about her concern she pushed the guy on setting up a second date.
Honestly I wish I had a crystal ball to help my female friends understand men speak. There’s really no way to understand a man’s wants and intentions early on until he either disappears or makes it obvious that he likes you. Time will reveal what he wants or if you even want to see him anymore.
“So do I just wait until he reveals his intentions or what can I do to read him faster?”
6. Clingy Men Who Want to Marry Before they Even Know Your Name…Tales of the Creep
So now the opposite. What about those men who wrap themselves around you like a snake? You smile and say hello and now they follow you around like a shadow. Not a very attractive trait. Us men fear the same thing from women. While we want to meet a partner in the middle and trust they won’t play games and make their intentions and desires crystal clear life obviously doesn’t work that way.
Here’s one of the most thoroughly written posts on understanding men I’ve read from EMK. A successful attorney fan of his writes him about how men drool over her and fantasize about her before they even know her. All she wants is a regular boyfriend.
“How can I avoid creeps and get rid of them when I do?”
7. Men Just Don’t Understand Me or Listen…”Can I be anymore direct?”
Two people from two different backgrounds, sets of beliefs, ways of accomplish tasks, goals, upbringing and so on get together, and now it’s time to coexist and make peace. Two people in a relationship will never fully understand each other. EMK’s blog posts, videos, audios and eBooks spend lots of time on effective communication techniques to understand men and get what you want out of a relationship.
“I’m tired of screaming to get what I want. What can I do differently to avoid fighting?”
The truth is you do really want to date and find the man who will stand by your side through the good times and bad, but more than anything you miss those good times right now.
Why you right now gave up hope for bit or took a break from dating or why women fear love in general only makes you lose more time.
If you’d like some effective tips from a proven online dating coach with a female fan base of over 9 million (including men too) then I suggest you read my reviews of “Why He Disappeared” and “Believe in Love“. Each month more and more female visitors who read my reviews purchase their own copy and find the answers they’ve sought for years.
Many instantly became new Evan Marc Katz fans because of his straight-to-the-point, no-nonsense tips. I’m sure you’ll find something to put into practice within minutes of reading his easy-to-follow advice like the hundreds of other women who have read my reviews then followed EMK’s books and audios.
Click here to read my Why He Disappeared review to understand men speak and identify confident men who want a real relationship.
Click here to read my Believe in Love review to find answers to why women fear love and find a happy relationship in the next short months (or weeks).