Will these 101 toxic people signs help you determine if you have a break down in communication in your relationship or just a broken down partner?
Tired of the up-and-down roller coaster ride?
One day you feel like you’re in heaven, the next all by yourself on a deserted island and then another like you’ve been relegated to the corner to face “time out” while you think about how you “disobeyed” your bossy wife or boyfriend’s orders?
Does this next story sound at all familiar?
Toxic People in Relationships
I recently went out for a beer with a buddy of mine. Ever since he started dating his current girlfriend a year ago I’ve heard nothing but stories about their toe-to-toe face-offs. Often emotionally drained from her bickering, exhausted for defending his personal space and constantly deflecting the barrage of her critical reminders of what she wants him to be- he still claims to adore her.
When will you wake up and admit your partner is just a toxic person?
[I’m talking to you! (Not about my friend).]
On with the short story..
As we sat there and he answered her numerous texts and phone calls asking him where he was, as if he was a high-level manager conducting endless executive decisions, my lost friend could not escape his paranoid, control freak girlfriend.
No matter how many times he explained he was out with his guy friend and not with two sex-crazed, slutty-dressed, sleeze-ball females (one on each leg), she just didn’t buy it.
Is this a dead-end relationship or do they just not how know how to communicate?
Are you married to someone who just sucks the life out of you?
Getting bad vibes about the person you’ve been dating?
Do you just deal with it believing it’s a normal part of relationships?
Or maybe you arrived here because you suspect your partner is cheating on you or maybe cheating again?
Either way you fear wasting your time anymore in a relationship that leads to nothing, but shame and misery.
Yes, you know this list of 101 toxic people signs is quite extensive, but the truth is I could make it longer (and maybe I’ll come back and add more later). I admit not all these toxic people signs are equally poisonous to a relationship, but none are endearing nor ideal in relationships.
Does your spouse or partner possess any of these warning signs toxic people tend to share in common?
Which traits will you find most toxic?
While some people just do not make a good match toxic people, on the other hand, do not seek to get along (or cannot due to serious emotional problems or chemical dependencies), they look to get their way due to lack of willingness to share and fear of losing control. If you hate control freaks and selfish people as much as I do then I know how much you’ll cringe when you read this list.
Onto the list…
101 Toxic People Signs: Do you deserve better?
- Talkers (not listeners). She doesn’t know when to give you a turn. Does she even know you drifted off in space? Why doesn’t she just look in the mirror and talk to herself? If you two were playing you’d drag yourself out of the gym bruised head-to-toe from absorbing all her words.
- Poor Conflict Resolution Skills. Well, since it’s your fault EVERY time, he doesn’t handle conflict at all, he just flings it at you. This relationship is not a 2-way street.
- Manipulative. Sure it doesn’t seem right, but you go with it because she convinced you it’s the best decision for both of you. Now explain how practically ALL the decisions somehow benefit both of you. Manipulative partners find ways to turn the tables and get their way, they tend to feast on agreeable people who just want to get along in relationships. Manipulative would make my top 10 list of toxic people signs.
- Victim Role. “Poor me. I’m so unlucky. Feel sorry for me.” No matter how much my former married girlfriend took advantage of her double life she always attempted to play the victim role.
- Clingy. OK so you do relish the attention she/he gives you. Let’s face it- it’s cute, but when your partner or spouse becomes needy that’s when you start searching for excuses to stay away. Everyone needs their space. Clingy just wears out one’s welcome.
- Attention-Crazed. “Tell me more about me. Give me love. Give me affection. Laugh at my jokes. Does everyone see me? Do you all know I am here?” What a drama queen!
- Disloyal. Watch how they treat others (friends, relatives, co-workers). Do they find convenient reasons to sneak behind their backs and break unwritten rules of friendship or codes of ethics? Don’t think for a second they wouldn’t do the same to you, their partner/spouse.
- Judgmental (hyper opinionated). Do you ever get sick of hearing who you should be, what you should do and all the things you did wrong (at least according to him)?
- Deflects Blame (doesn’t admit fault). Heaven forbid she makes a mistake and even when she does she won’t apologize, but if you date blunder, you’d best ask for forgiveness or face the wrath.
- Loud. Somewhere along the line toxic people figured out the agreeable types cower to obnoxiousness. It’s the equivalent to physically pushing someone down to the ground to bully someone.
- Don’t Follow Social Norms. Some people know what acceptable behavior to follow is while others simply ignore it because they don’t care. How can we trust each other and get along if we do not follow social norms of our society?
- Gossipers. Like a bunch of birds, gossipers chirp negative nonsense to anyone who will pay even one tiny iota of attention to them.
- Over Critical. No motivational speeches here, instead demotivating speeches. Toxic people love to point out everything wrong with you, they can’t just accept you for who you are, but ironically they have no flaws (according to themselves, of course). Check out this article on 8 helpful tips to deal with critical people.
- Shameless. When someone does not feel shame for embarrassing or emotional hurting someone this could be a bigger red flag of a lack of empathy. Read this article on how lack of shame or guilt plays a role in adult bullying and mobbing.
- Secretive. Never tell you what’s bothering them. They hide even the smallest details because they fear losing, you finding out and losing control of their lives. Between choosing to talk out their issues to resolve them and running from their problems, they choose running. How serious of a relationship can you have with a person with conflict resolution problems? Secretive, in my experience married to a serial cheater, is one of the most toxic people signs.
- Immature. Yep, he married you after such a long wait. You weren’t even sure he would finally “take the plunge”. But that’s exactly how he felt about marriage- “a plunge”, taking a risk in his mind. Now that he’s married he wants the single life. You don’t really feel like he enjoys the married life. How does a mature husband look versus an immature one? Immaturity while still one of the toxic people signs in relation to marriage, does have hope.
- Paranoid. Everyone is out to get them. No one wants to help them. Everything will go wrong if it can. Can a paranoid person ever live comfortably and in peace?
- Their Way = Only Way. Ever met someone who believed their techniques or strategies was always the best way and didn’t not openly listen for your way to do it? And if you do not do it their way then they criticize you and your ways of solving problems?
- Only Their Opinion Matters. Does your partner not even listen to your viewpoints? Do they care to understand why you believe something works a certain way. They argue how finances work and which household tasks to prioritize over the others. Do you even feel like offering your opinion anymore?
- Negative Body Language. Some people don’t know how they look when they speak to you. I’ve even seen managers in previous jobs who display negative looks when you speak to them as if to say, “Wow, what a dumb idea!” Some people look unhappy with their posture, facial expressions and walk. You don’t feel comfortable speaking with them because no matter what they may say with their mouths their body sends the message, “I don’t care.” Read about must-know body language head-to-toe for a happy marriage.
- Pessimistic. Constant negativity. Always sees the darker side of life. The “glass is half empty” kind of person. Don’t you hate when pessimists claim to be rational. They say they simply speak the truth. Toxic people signs tend to revolve around some type of negativity spewing. They aim to recruit you to their join their gloom party.
- Kleptomaniacs. Does your spouse or partner feel no shame in taking what’s not theirs? My ex-wife loved to clean out hotel rooms of towels, pillows, toilet paper, etc. I didn’t even notice the first few times until we got home and she unloaded the items all over our bed. I met someone a long time ago that said he dumped his girlfriend because she stole lots of shoes. Some view kleptomania as a serious problem which requires professional help. Do you feel that kleptomaniacs belongs on this list of possible toxic people signs?
- Flirtatious while Still in Committed Relationship. Communication problems or just problems shutting off their hormone switch? Some people need to feel desired. I believe that in this case it comes from low-self esteem. Do you think flirting while married or in a relationship is playing with fire?
- Arrogant. Self-confidence on steroids. Your spouse or partner goes too far to the point they cut you down. Their fear of becoming emotionally vulnerable puts them in defensive mode. What’s the difference between selfishness and arrogance (apparently I’m not the only one who views arrogance as one of the toxic people signs to watch out for)? How can you deal with your arrogant husband or wife?
- Domineering. Control freaks fear unpredictability by bullying or fake charming you to do what they want. I have been with some domineering women. Most would say men tend to display dominant characteristics. What are the signs your husband is domineering and controlling your life? How do you deal with an overbearing spouse? (Which I had read a post like this when I was married to my first wife).
- Dishonest. Even when they sound like they are telling you the truth you don’t trust them. Some people feel the need to create stories to achieve what they want. Bottom line: they don’t trust people. So how can you trust them then?
- Mercurial (moody): Emotionally distant at times other times you’d swear your their best friend. They don’t know how to control their temper or emotions. This could result from a mental condition or just poor manners. Does it matter? Either way they won’t make a good partner and is one of many toxic people signs to look out for. Read how this wife responded beautifully to her husband’s bad mood.
- Mooch. They don’t possess the confidence to live on their own or to take care of themselves without pestering others to bail them out of trouble. The worst part is they don’t feel shame to take from others. They certainly don’t look for ways to give back and pitch in.
- Hypersensitive. Ever feel like you walk on eggshells when talking with someone? Almost like anything you say they’d take personally. You must think twice before complimenting them. Want to avoid feeling awkward- just tell them what they want to hear? Sound like relationship material to you?
- Demeaning. Absolutely pessimistic. They alienate those around them instead of connecting with them. They possess the knack of finding what you feel insecure about yourself then highlight it. is this an attempt to hide what they despise about themselves? Don’t seek any motivational pep talk with these people.
- Financially Controlling. Apparently they self-anoint themselves to CFOH (Chief Financial Officer of the Household). All decisions regarding how, where, what and when to spend or save money must pass through them. They also find a way to scrutinize any methods you wish to save, invest or spend. You do not even own rights to you the money you earn. Somewhere on the way you lost the power over your own money. All money is “our” money (AKA your spouse’s money).
- Intrusive. Personal space matters not here. Nosy at every opportunity. What are you reading, who are you going to the sports bar with, who were you texting, what time do you take lunch at work, etc.? Whether trait stems from jealousy or from being domineering needing control this is one of the toxic people signs that lingers on unless you confront your partner once and for all.
- Blame their Missed or Lack of Opportunities in Life on You. Throw personal responsibility and accountability out the window. You apparently blockade them from the dreamland. And they won’t let you forget about it as they constantly remind you how you prevent them from the perfect life.
- Jealous. Ever feel like they’re watching you? Might as well insert a GPS tracker chip inside your arm. They fear you will leave at any moment for someone else. Their insecurity and low self-esteem propels them to nag you about every detail regarding all of your interactions with members of the opposite sex and your friends who could potentially introduce you to a new partner. A partner’s problems with jealousy which stem from insecurity and low self-esteem issues will hover over you like a black cloud unless they can overcome them on their own.
- “If I Can’t Go, You Can’t Go”. If the thought of you enjoying yourself without them present reaches the point where they threaten to with a temper tantrum afterwards you’ve got problems. Give in once and don’t act shocked when a pattern of similar behavior begins. Of course what they may actually fear is you cheating on them, which again stems from their jealousy problems. This is one of those toxic people signs that a bigger problem exists- perhaps a lack of communication which leads to trust issues between partners. However, controlling someone will not solve the underlying problem.
- Flirtatious (while married/committed) Just can’t seem to turn off his/her flirt motor. Appears to have an addiction to arousing members of the opposite sex and receiving advances and affection in return- despite the fact he/she is married. In their own mind they justify their actions as playful banter, meanwhile you squirm from the discomfort of men/women interpreting your spouse’s/partner’s interactions as invitations for other men and women to make sexual advancements.
- Humiliating. My first wife had no problem humiliating me in public or in front of her family or mine. On two occasions her family members called her out and warned her that humiliation could cause me to leave one day. You have pride. There’s no justification for forcing your partner to act in a way that makes you look bad in front
- Stalking. If your partner suffers from low self-esteem, insecurity or jealousy then he or she may feel the need to stalk your personal privacy whether by stealing your passwords and hacking into your email accounts or phone, or simply stalking your social media accounts. After you catch someone cheating you could have some justification to double check they keep their promise not to cheat again, but stalking is not acceptable simply because of the fear of cheating. My first wife hacked my email account to check if I was contacting other women despite no reason to believe I was cheating. Not acceptable. Stalking is one of the toxic people signs that your partner will not play fairly. Can you trust them to work things out appropriately?
- False Accuser. When it’s not your fault, in his/her eyes it’s your fault. When you took initiative to do something nice for them, you got blamed for creating a problem. Seems like you never do anything right.
- Destructive. So I’m referring to two types of destructive tendencies: one, when your partner actually tends to physically destroy things when they do not control their anger. Any broken mirrors, doors, picture frames or punctured walls at home? The second of the toxic people signs is when your partner shows they don’t care about sharing personal space and manages to find ways to deteriorate your mutual spaces like bedroom, bathroom, cars. My ex-cheating wife did not care about maintaining a clean and tidy home despite my efforts to plead for help. Her destructive attitude stemmed from her selfishness.
- Agitator. Life without drama for these people is abnormal. Always “stirring the pot” seemingly searching for things to fight about. And what about those times your partner attempts to turn your family members, co-workers or friends into enemies.
- Unforgiving. She never forgets what you say or do- never. Holding things against you gives her the power to get what she needs later. Never says she’s sorry herself and doesn’t seem to want to talk through problems.
- Greedy. “What else will you do for me?”, seems to be this person’s motto, or even, “What have you done for me lately?” Never, satisfied. Always asking for more. One of the toxic people signs that is part of their core personality. Are you married or dating a greedy person?
- Sense of Entitlement. Your needs don’t matter that much, it’s all about his/her needs. Maybe her parents spoiled her, never said “no”, whatever the reason, if he/she doesn’t get what they want it could result in rotten behavior. I could easily have added this trait to my core serial cheater traits profile, but I consider sense of entitlement one of the more serious dangerous toxic people signs. Find out how to spot a person with a sense of entitlement issues.
- Unsympathetic. He doesn’t care that his words or actions hurt you- a total lack of respect. Maybe at some point you both felt a deep connection towards one another and he never would have dreamed of upsetting you, now, he seems to have no filter system- whatever comes to his mind, comes out of his mouth with no fear of how you feel about it.
- Catty. What does “catty” mean? Backstabbing. According to my searches on the web, women tend act catty more than men. This may indirectly affect your relationship, but it certainly won’t help you make friends with other couples and it’s certainly not a positive characteristic to feel proud of. It’s one of the more unique, interesting toxic people signs.
- Defensive. Everyone will protect themselves when attacked, but some people don’t take constructive criticism at all. A major component of a partnership is keeping the lines of communication open so you can find ways to get along, but if your spouse becomes impossible to reconcile differences, the two will drift apart.
- Unreachable. Never picks up the phone on the first call, doesn’t always respond to texts. You almost feel like, “Why bother even contacting him/her?” Then you ask why you can’t reach them and you hear nothing but excuses. Why should you have this much trouble getting a hold of your spouse?
- Unresponsive/Evasive. While not responding via text or phone calls could be considered unresponsive, I am referring more to when you ask your partner a direct questions they ignore you or provide partial answers. When my my relationship with my now ex-cheating wife started to roll downhill, she no longer felt the need to answer my questions. From her perspective, why would she need to. She had her plan B, her second life already under way. The last two are major signs of infidelity.
- Conditional Love/Unsupportive. When the going gets tough, the tough just leaves. Your partner claims you whine too much. She/he has no interest in your challenges or hardships. She just wants his/her life to go well. When things go well, they become your biggest cheerleader, when things do not go well, they become spiteful and unsympathetic. What is the difference between conditional and unconditional love?
- Self-Centered. Yes, you enjoy their company, but do you enjoy feeling left out? Do you enjoy focusing all your attention on him/her without receiving much in return? Here’s a great article I found on Steps to Deal with a Self-Centered Person
- Belittling. She says, “You’re worthless, get a real job.” He says, “You don’t turn me on anymore. Act and dress more sexy.” Why do we let our spouses bully us? Check out this article on How to Say Goodbye to Intimidation
- Workaholic. (No time for you.) Always something to do at the office. Always feel like they can’t miss an
opportunity for more overtime or to miss out on landing the new client. Is it possible to be a workaholic and make your marriage work? Is this truly on of the toxic people signs or just a potentially hazardous trait? You gotta read this article, “A Workaholic’s Secret to a Happy Marriage.” It gave me shivers after I read it. I wish I had read this before my marriage started to slide.
- Insatiable. Never satsified. All thrills are short-lived. Nothing is good enough. You don’t live in a nice enough house, nice enough area, don’t go on nice enough vacations, not enough vacations, can’t go to enough restaurants for dinner. Can the cycle end? When do you stop trying to please your wife/husband?
- Demanding (but doesn’t like the same treatment.) Oh, how easy it is to see what your spouse needs to do, but how about when the spotlight shines on you? Everyone has their own scope of what life should be like, but we forget that our spouse may not share the same expectations.
- Insecure. Everyone has some insecurity about themself, but when it starts to turn into distractions and deviate the relationship away from playing as a team and finding ways to satisfy each other then you could have problems. In fact, when insecurity reaches chronic levels, it’s one of those toxic people signs that could turn into an affair. Some overly insecure people depend on others to care for them. What happens when they fear you don’t love them anymore or they feel ashamed of their inability to care for themselves?
- Undependable. When things need done they let you down, yet you find it funny how they keep pestering you for help with what’s important for them.
- Disrespectful of your time and schedule. They excuse themselves for missing children’s activities for something more important. They routinely arrive late from the office due to yet another, “unavoidable task that couldn’t wait”. Finally, their disregard for your time and schedule is getting under your skin.
- Fake Charm. You see both sides: the one that smiles and asks about your friends’ kids and how their new job is going, then when you drive away in the car you experience his/her bitterness as they spew their disgust about the same people they just appeared to adore.
- Splitting (black or white thinking). There’s no such thing as many different ways to get something done. No such thing as sharing different viewpoints. Cultural diversity, huh, not usually for these types of people. And if you don’t subscribe to their overly opinionated way of thinking, then you’re just another idiot in their eyes. Black and white thinking may appear harmless to you, but it can seriously impede happiness. Check out how black and white thinking hurts you (also referred to as cognitive distortion). Here’s one of the toxic people signs you should reflect on yourself to see if you suffer from black and white thinking. And read how to stop black and white thinking from destroying your life.
- Impatient. Wants instant gratification. Expects things to happen with unrealistic timelines. When doesn’t get what he/she wants fast complains and even pushes harder.
- Addicted to Social Media and Texting. Sometimes it feels like he/she doesn’t even know you are there. They always seem to have a reason to pull out their phone. Hey, if you aren’t spending time together then who cares what you do with your phone, but not when you’re supposed to spend quality time with each other.
- Gambler. Financial problems end many marriages. So when your spouse throws your money away due to an addiction to feel the thrill of getting lucky then unless then receive professional help then this is one of the toxic people signs that could bring down your marriage single handedly.
- Drug Addict. Maybe they didn’t have this problem when your relationship started, but addition to drugs is one the top most lethal toxic people signs.
- Alcoholic. Another one of the most serious problems to deal with in a relationship. But this post revolves around problems in marriage that can pull a couple apart. So it is what it is. Problem with alcohol will bring a relationship down.
- Physically Abusive. The previous three are as devastating to a relationship as they get, but this one is the number one worst of all toxic people signs that exists on this list. No matter how the abuse started is irrelevant.
- Superficial. I don’t see how someone who places too much importance on shopping, worrying about the lives of celebrities and perhaps hair styles and clothes can contribute much to meaningful conversation with a partner. You got to have your hobbies, but at chronic level being superficial just means you probably are better off waiting until you’re ready for a deep, committed relationship. But do we ever wrongly judge someone as superficial? How do you know when someone is not as shallow as they seem?
- Vengeful. When things don’t end up the way they wanted they take out their frustration, but acting spiteful with intention to harm you. Doesn’t matter if it’s physically or emotionally. Mean is mean. Grow up and learn to manage your emotions more constructively. Life isn’t always fair. Deal with it.
- Instant Gratification. Shallow people constantly look for thrills. My ex lived for easy, instant ways to find excitement. Filling her closet and drawers full of new shoes, clothes and make up came easy. Ask her to help pay some of the bills and she’d run. Another one of the toxic people signs that looks harmless, but has immediate gratification pretty much created every problem you’ve ever had? Is there a scientific way to avoid the temptation of immediate gratification?
- Keeps in Touch with Ex-es (ex-husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend). Some people just can’t say
goodbye. Or do really just want a Plan B in case you two do not work out? Keeping in touch with ex-es could lead to Facebook Cheating. Check out this post I wrote about Facebook Cheating Wives/Husbands. And here’s one of the best authority sites on the web regarding Facebook Cheating and online affairs.
- Unaffectionate. Maybe they want to express their feelings, but either way does it really matter? How satisfying can a relationship really be void of emotions?
- Unappreciative. Somewhere along the line they started to just expect you to treat them special. Now your good deeds just go unnoticed. You start to feel like he/she could care less if you took initiative to please them.
- Resentful. He/she holds a grudge and won’t let it go. Instead of bringing his/her feelings out in the open they bottle them up inside. They fear confrontation and refuse to smooth out their issues with you. Here’s one of the silent-killer toxic people signs. Read how resentment kills a marriage.
- Low-Emotional Intelligence. Perhaps they crack inappropriate jokes about your personal matters. He has no filter system to prevent from mouthing off and crushing your feelings. He really lacks understanding of your feelings. He simply does not know how to sympathize with you. Over time you may just get fed up. He won’t change.
- Lack of Empathy. Here’s on of the more deadly toxic people signs. I placed it on my serial cheater traits post. He/she routinely disappoints you, hurts you and has no desire to care how you feel about it. Lack of empathy could harm your relationship much worse than you realize. Here’s one of the more serious toxic people signs despite it’s slight harmless appearance.
- Stubborn. In the short run, not so toxic, over time I hope you have a lot of patience. I seem to attract stubborn partners. Their way is the only way. I would prefer to hear both sides, however, the feeling is not mutual. It feels almost like they fear that by approving a different way of thinking or method to achieve a task they’ll lose control.
- Abrasive. Move closer, they move farther away. Try to agree with them they find ways to disagree. Try to connect and they push away. They naturally scare people away.
- Argumentative. Great lawyers I suppose, not so great partners in a relationship. They tend to find something wrong in your viewpoint. Can’t imagine too much satisfaction in engaging in conversation with someone who manages to find a way to take the opposite point of view for practically every one of your conversations. Would you like 7 simple tips to diffuse an argument with your spouse?
- Profane. Dropping f-bombs along with an extensive menu of tasty vulgarities. I swear some people acquire immunity to cursing. The use of regular profanity is not very endearing.
- Unruly. They attest law and order. All rules were meant to be broken, even if they protect the unruly person. They just can’t stand authority.
- Undisciplined. They say they have dreams and goals. They might even take some online classes, but overall they just lake the drive and discipline to get ahead in life. You feel like they tag along for the ride and picture the next few years them just weighing you down and holding you back. They just lack the habits to achieve success and you were hoping for a partner who shared the same drive you have.
- Dependent. Everyone likes to help a lost puppy. Who doesn’t like to help others in need? But you thought you’d help them get back up on their feet so they could run on their own. Now you feel like the helpless, adorable puppy has turned into a needy stray dog who appears to show no signs of taking care of themselves.
- Self-righteous. These people love to talk and not to listen. Somehow they managed to master all matters in life and don’t hold back for even a second to share their vast knowledge on whatever the topic at hand is. Ask them for the time and they tell you how to build a watch. Be careful what you ask them, you just might get a whole lot more than you asked for.
- Passive Aggressive. You never feel certain you understand how they feel or what they’re thinking. Now how do you expect to resolve your differences? Two people in a relationship will inevitably run into conflict. You will see life differently than they do, but without successful conflict resolution strategies then your relationship becomes a ticking-time bomb because your passive-aggressive partner’s needs will constantly go unfulfilled. Are you married to a passive aggressive spouse (7 signs your partner is passive aggressive)?
- Dramatic. What most see as minor problems these people blow out of proportion. If you do not like to fight then dramatic people will shove you to the edge of the discomfort cliff. A dramatic person may not care who watches his/her tirades or temper tantrums either. You feel like there’s no point sometimes discussing important matters with them because they won’t keep a cool head.
- Prejudice. Obviously not a very endearing trait. I suppose if you too are prejudice then you wouldn’t notice anything alarming about this obtuse type of thinking. But by maintaining baseless opinions regarding a certain group of people results in many lost opportunities to see the beauty in others. This is one of the alienating toxic people signs.
- Racist. While prejudice involves opinions on behavior racism relates to hatred toward groups of people. I can’t think of many more discomforting traits to discover about a person than this one. Don’t you love when someone just assumes you share the same racist or prejudice thoughts just because you come from the same race as they do? Awkward. Now imagine accepting someone for all the traits you enjoy but overlooking this one. Many awkward moments await in your future.
- Deceitful. What? You don’t like liars? Imagine spending your life with a good liar. You probably prefer to believe people rather than feel whatever they say is suspect. What would you do if you suspected your dishonest actor/actress spouse or partner of cheating? They could just lie their way out of trouble and you’d keep believing them. Find out how these former CIA agents teach you how to detect deceit.
- Cynic. These are the negative realists. They set you straight. Probably because they are self-righteous and have all the answers. But who asked for their unsolicited advice anyway? They suck the life right out of you. If you see yourself as a dreamer then you will find yourself in some uncomfortable conversations with these “party poopers”. Most discouraging people just lack the confidence to achieve their dreams. How can you tell the difference between a cynic and a realist? Click the link to view the article at MichaelTeachings.com- very interesting!
- Intolerant. Not open to viewpoints, opinions, beliefs or behavior other than one’s own. How do you expect to get along?
- Materialistic. These people probably do not value intimate relationships as much someone who doesn’t
desire the name brand clothes and shoes, fancy cars and other material items that money brings. To what extent can you get to know a materialistic person on a deep level?
- Spoiled. If his/her parents pampered them growing up and you follow suit then what do you expect to happen when he/she hears the word “no”? How will they respond when things do not go the way they want when they usually have up to this point in their life? Spoiled does not necessarily make the list of toxic people signs until it results in childish behavior, or worse when a spouse or committed partner seeks someone else on the outside to cater to their every need.
- Tactless. Some people don’t hold back to say what’s on their mind- ever. If you cared about how connecting with people then you would watch what you say and how you say it. So lacking tact also means you lack charm.
- Violent. OK, so this one is no-brainer. If your partner takes out their frustration violently then possess inner demons that they must deal with. Unless they accept help and fix the emotional problems that cause them to act out with physical aggression then you probably would be better off moving on. Violence in a relationship easily makes one of the top 10 most toxic people signs.
- Scheming. Some people find themselves in the wrong situation at the wrong time. Others create a plan to manipulate and deceive to get what they want. You often find this trait in cheaters, especially repeat cheaters who find ways to live their second life behind their spouse’s back. By itself scheming is not one of the toxic people signs in my opinion unless it relates to sneaking behind their partner’s back in order to hide their activities, especially when it relates to cheating.
- Possessive. A form of jealousy that can suffocate a partner. When your partner demands all your love and attention then that’s just a sign of insecurity. It’s only a matter of time before you get tired of the treatment. Possessiveness is not very endearing and you have the choice of ignoring it or confronting your spouse/partner.
- Unreliable. Ask him/her to do chores or errands and don’t expect them to get done. Help with the children’s needs, huh, forget about it. Take care of bank account, insurance or bill matters, cross your fingers that they’ll follow through. Lazy, unorganized and/or selfish; unreliable people will drive you nuts. You may feel alone when it comes to taking care of the household. I believe this is one of the toxic people signs that you can negotiate and work on if your spouse/partner values your feelings.
- Close-Minded. You have your points of view, he/she has hers, that’s normal. When the topics pertain to bigger areas of life, ones that touch upon your core values and beliefs if you both don’t have an open mind then how do you plan to negotiate your differences? Two people in a relationship will not agree on all big matters, but to live in harmony they at least need to understand each other and respect their partner’s viewpoint.
- Immoral (sexually). Sexually immorality may appear to only matter to religous people who believe you engage in sexual relations only after you marry someone. But consider this if your partner both has a track record of sleeping around with peope he/she had no emotional attachment to and then admits they didn’t care about the person, is this a red flag? Can casual sex affect our mental health (read the article)? And here is another eye-opening opionion (article) on what’s really wrong with casual sex?
- Repeat Cheater. Definetly makes the top 10 list of red flags for toxic people signs (what did you expect, my site is about cheating). Sure there are situations people wrap themselves are get caught in and make poor choices, but if your partner has a history of cheating combined with these deeper cheater personality traits then your relationship may not have the brightest future.
- Vain (relating to one’s appearance). Overly concerned with looks and outward beauty could point to an innocent sign of a cry out for affection and not so much one of the toxic people signs. Then again, maybe not. Is it a form of narcissism? Can you have a satisfying relationship with someone who values outward beauty over inner beauty? I found this article that discusses outward versus inner beauty and how the author came across a dating website that removes members if they eat too much during the holidays and gain weight (no joke, this is real) check it out. So this article headline is one of the more, let’s say, unique ones I’ve read, but the site is BY FAR the most unique site I have come across since starting my site here, but, WOW, good stuff (Why You Shouldn’t Give a F— About Looks!).
Which of the toxic people signs are most toxic to a relationship? If you had to choose one, which of the toxic people signs angers you the most in your relationship?
–Leave your answer below in the “Comments” section.–