Don’t give up yet on online dating because these online dating profile tips will change the game for you.
After my last wildly successful interview with the new, up-and-coming dating coach Ashley Kay I invited her back.
This time Ashley generously dishes out her wealth of gold nugget knowledge on a major dating topic…
…How to Write Online Dating Profiles that Hook Interesting, High Quality Men
The other duds you can throw back into the sea.
Decrease the number of hours you spend sifting through endless creepy emails.
Push aside despair of finding empty inboxes…and instead smile as you scroll down a much longer list of qualified, relationship-minded, available, financially secure men.
[Online Dating Profile Tips] What You’ve Done Wrong…
- Learn why your pictures draw attention of the weirdos…
- …and which photos send signals to the RIGHT guys to contact you.
- The section of your online dating profile quality men pay close attention to.
- You instead took this section for granted and wrote all the things that SCARE HIM OFF.
- Or you said too much that turned him away.
- And the ABSOLUTE WORST things to write in your profile that will repel ALL the BEST MEN away…that you thought men wanted to hear!
Let’s face it.
You don’t understand what serious, relationship-minded men seek in online daters.
And so that is why I brought in my secret weapon to turn you into an online dating ace…
…so you can FINALLY find your next boyfriend and can end your spell of loneliness.
Online Dating Profile Tips that Count
I have read many other dating coaches’ advice on how to find good men online.
They usually cost money- a lot of money.
Today your are fortunate to receive A LOT of HIGHLY successful online dating profile tips for FREE.
At the end she shares one of her most prized programs that will show you step-by-step how to dramatically increase the number of dates with quality male candidates by combining both highly effective online and offline strategies.
Onto the interview…
Online Dating Profile Tips that Reveal the #1 Reason You Succeed in Finding ALL the Duds and Failed to Find the Studs
1. Ashley what are the top frustrations for women with online dating, specifically busy, hard-working women who seek a serious relationship?
Despite the easy and efficient “window shopping” aspect of online dating, it takes time to browse dozens, if not hundreds of profiles, go through your Mail Inbox, and decide whether to respond or not.
In dating, as with anything in life, you get back what you put in. If you’re checking your Online Dating Mailbox or Tinder account every 30 minutes but not actually engaging with anyone, you’re just using it as a distraction mechanism (like Facebook and YouTube videos).
When it comes to online, you often need to sift through a lot of matches before you find someone decent to talk to. This requires time and effort. Women need to understand that they can’t simply get on there for five minutes, find a decent match and have a date lined up straight away.
The second thing is, due to the accessibility of online dating, it’s relatively easy to have dates set up. Especially for women.
However, I should advise. This relative ease comes with a price. Most men online are not going to be the most compatible or most decent of the bunch.
A lot of women get discouraged quickly because the QUALITY of online men appear generally lower than those you’ll find offline. Especially when you’re in the 30-40 age bracket.
In this age bracket, men are no longer optimistic about love and relationships. Many are divorced or going through bitter separations. Many are still attached to an ex or may still be married.
And if a guy is a true catch, he’s going to be extra picky about the type of woman he’ll go for.
These are things women in their 30s need to be aware of. Often if you don’t want to waste time, you can’t afford to act and expect the same kind of result as you did in your 20s. Men will put less effort in and have higher standards for a mate. So women need to adjust their expectations here.
What this means is women need “thicker skins” when it comes to dating online. You must be prepared to go through many duds, many disappointed dates, many men who turn out not to be as great as first appeared. That’s the nature of online dating.
What specific online dating profile tips do you advise to focus on in order to attract interesting, compatible men more than anything else? What is the #1 area women fail in?
It would definitely be their Photos and the About Me section. It’s not a surprise that your photos are the first things a man will notice about you. And yet a lot of women make bad decisions when choosing photos to put up.
The photos are often too old, too dark, too provocative or there’s just not enough photos to begin with.
Online Dating Profile Tips for what photos to use:
- First photo should always be a smiling headshot. (No resting bitch face or duck faces please. These are a big turn off).
- Second photo should be a body shot. If you exclude it, men will assume you’re hiding it for a reason.
- Third photo should be an action shot. This shot is to show off your personality. (For example, a shot of you going hiking, playing with dogs, having fun with friends etc.)
- Avoid photos with other men, kids or too many with friends. These do not add to your attractiveness – and your profile should be solely about YOU.
Also your profile is only as good as the WORST photo you have on there. Men will look at that bad photo and judge you based on that.
Photos can also attract the wrong attention from men. There are a lot of men only after hook-ups. If you’re getting a lot of “hook up” type messages or men simply saying “Hi” or “hey”, check your photos first. I would bet 9 times out of 10 it’s because you’re showing too much skin, being too “sexy” or giving that “party-girl”-vibe a bit too much.
If you’re getting a lot of “hook up” type messages or men simply saying “Hi” or “hey”, check your photos first. I would bet 9 times out of 10 it’s because you’re showing too much skin…
Women can do this without even realising it.
A picture that you and your girlfriends may deem as nice and attractive could be viewed as sexual by a man.
If in doubt, ask male friends whether they think it’s too sexy or not. I’ve made the mistake of putting up “sexy” pictures of myself thinking it will get more attention.
But this will only attract the wrong men and put off relationship-minded guys.
Online Dating Profile Tips of How to Fix Your About Me Section
The second biggest problem is the About Me section of your profile. This is the section where you write a short description about yourself. I find most women will either get really lazy here or go too far the other way.
The About Me section should be between 100-200 words. Too few words and you’ll just attract “hook up” minded men. Too many words and it likely won’t be read – which means you’ll also attract men with only hook up in mind. Or worse, put men off from messaging you at all.
Too few words and you’ll just attract “hook up” minded men. Too many words and it likely won’t be read – which means you’ll also attract men with only hook up in mind. Or worse, put men off from messaging you at all.
Why Quality Men Value Your About Me Section
The About Me section is actually very important real estate on your profile. If a man came across your profile and liked your photo, the second thing he’ll want to do is read what you say about yourself.
What you say tells him whether he’d enjoy dating you or not.
Men are very logical and judgmental here.
If you come across negative, self-entitled or demanding, he’s probably going to pass (unless he just wants sex).
Most relationship-minded men are very picky about this. Because it’s not just your looks that matter, it’s your personality they need an impression of.
If it’s too short, it shows you’re not putting any effort in.
Men will assume you’re dating other men or not really interested in a relationship. Therefore, they will also not put effort in when messaging you.
So put a bit of thought into it.
Avoid anything negative.
Avoid a long list of what your “ideal man” should look like.
Keep it short and pick out unique topics a man could ask you questions about.
Which online dating profile tips can you share that catch Serious-Relationship-Seeking Men’s attention?
Definitely the photo and about me section. The headline would probably be the next important part of a profile. Something witty and clever always helps to attract attention.
What do you think makes time-wasting or super-strange men, who either just want sex or have no desire for true love reach out to women ?
This might sound strange after my advice about Photos and About Me Section. The truth is, it won’t matter what your profile looks like, you will always get messages from time-wasting men or weird men.
I think the ability to hide online gives a lot of men the incentive to say whatever they want; often things they would never say to your face in the real world. That’s what I mean about weeding through a lot of duds online.
It just comes with the territory and women shouldn’t think of it as “strange”. The good news is there ARE decent, socially normal men online as well.
You just need to be more patient to get to them.
With that said, there are things you can do to minimize your exposure to the less desirable men.
Online Dating Profile Tips to Minimize Attracting Duds
- Put filters on who can message you and who can’t. Bare minimum is to put a limit on age and location.
- Dismiss men quickly if they give you any “weird” vibes. Use your gut instinct. If they make you feel uncomfortable, seem very strange or just very desperate, cut them off. The less mental and emotional time you waste on these types, the sooner you’ll meet decent men online.
- Dismiss men who put zero to little effort into their profile or messages to you. This includes sexual only messages to you. Once again, you don’t want your time wasted on these types. They are not relationship-minded.
Follow these simple rules and it won’t be long before you’re having decent conversations with decent men only. It’s not hard, but it requires you to filter quick and filter many.
Once you meet a man online, what keeps him interested? What makes him disappear?
What attracts men online is the same as what attracts men offline; a positive attitude and confidence.
Your photo and profile should give a guy a “taste”. A teaser of you. It should consist of only highlights of the kind of person you are. Once a man messages you, then it’s no different from “real dating”.
However, online adds a level of illusion that doesn’t exist in the real world. You could easily fall into the realm of “fantasy”. This means you’re more likely to create a fantasy ideal of the other person. Or misrepresent yourself as an “ideal” version of yourself.
You could easily fall into the realm of “fantasy”… you’re more likely to create a fantasy ideal of the other person.
If you spend a long time talking online before meeting in person, the harsh hit of reality could be why first dates never lead to a second.
As a good rule – aim to meet within two to five conversations online or on the phone. You want to talk enough to know you can get along for a two hour coffee date. But not so long that you’re starting to have fantasies about the other person.
As long as you are honest and authentic, the next part comes down to chemistry. And unfortunately you won’t know whether you have chemistry without meeting.
Someone could look great on paper. And you may even get along great on the phone, but if there isn’t chemistry in person, your dates will often end there.
Did I mention online dating requires a thick skin?
You have to get comfortable with rejecting and being rejected. It will be prevalent with online dating.
In your opinion, what are the most important strategies to get right in order to succeed in finding a compatible boyfriend online?
It comes down largely to your mindset.
What is your attitude towards online dating?
Are you aware that it’s normal to go through many prospects and dates before you land a decent match?
Are you aware that getting sleazy, weird or sex-minded messages online are normal and expected?
Do you have a realistic, as well as positive attitude towards online dating?
I think a lot of women get frustrated due to a lack of preparation for dating online.
They also don’t know what they want.
I think a lot of women get frustrated due to a lack of preparation for dating online. They also don’t know what they want.
Some women want a quick boyfriend replacement. Or to try to get over an ex. Or to combat loneliness. There isn’t a real sense of what type of man they’re looking for and what kind of man they’d be compatible with long term.
That’s a recipe for disaster because there are too many people also “shopping” online. You can easily get distracted or waste a lot of time.
Online dating should be used as a tool to find the right guy for you. And it works – if you use it as intended.
As many as 1/3 of married couples met through online dating.
I met my husband online. It really can work.
But as with dating offline, you must have a clear objective and be mentally prepared for it.
How important is the selection of the dating site to join in order to find Mr. Right? What are just a few things to keep in mind?
I don’t think it matters to be honest. There are so many dating sites, each catering to a slightly different demographic. Some cater to casual relationships, others for more serious relationships.
Honestly it will not make a difference. The people on a hook-up site will also be on a relationship-orientated site. The people on the paid sites will also be on the free sites.
Most people don’t have enough self-awareness to even know if they want a relationship or not. And even those who claim to want casual flings may change their mind if the “right” person came along.
I would pick one or two of the biggest online dating sites.
Pick one where you like the interface of and you find easy to use.
You don’t need to pay for online dating, but some people feel you get better matches that way. I’ve never found this to be the case. Like I said the same people on the paid sites will also be on the free sites.
What current services or products do you offer for coaching a busy, career-minded woman wishing to succeed in online dating to find her next boyfriend?
My program The Irresistible Dating Method takes you through a 7 step framework for how to find, attract and keep a quality men online or offline.
I go in-depth into how to attract and filter men to get to the most qualified men dying to commit to you.
This program shows you how to dramatically increase the amount of quality dates and prospects you’ll get in a week.
You’ll know how to attract the right kind of man and easily get your second, third or more dates with him.
You’ll also have tremendous confidence when it comes to dating men and keeping them interested. Dating becomes more fun and rewarding. It shouldn’t make you feel bad about yourself.
The IDM gives you a complete blueprint on how to be your most irresistibly confident self, so you can easily attract and keep the best man for you.
You shouldn’t have to settle or be frustrated, you just need the right strategy for finding Mr Right.
Discover MORE Offline and Dating Tips to Attract and Keep High-Caliber Men…Get a Second…and Third Date with Him
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