Facebook Rules to prevent affairs?
Is that even a good idea?
Ever heard the best way to solve a problem is to avoid it?
The best (perhaps only) proactive way to prevent Facebook cheating and all other forms of cyber cheating is to set rules and boundaries between you and your spouse so you both avoid the temptation to connect with someone outside your marriage.
Scroll down for the 25 Facebook rules to cheat proof your marriage.
As you may have read in one of my previous posts even innocent husbands and wives are vulnerable to entering sexual or emotional affairs.
I wish I could go back in time and set rules between my now ex-wife for Facebook, texting and other social network use. But I just never felt comfortable asking her to relinquish her privacy. It felt like that’s what jealous husbands do.
You know- insecure men.
I mean, if she really wanted to be with me than she wouldn’t sneak around behind my back.
This is not the right strategy to maintain a healthy marriage void of cheating.
Ever wondered “I should just trust her” or “It’s his business who he talks to,”?
Have you forgotten the power of temptation?
You’re One Step Away from Cheating
As you read these Facebook rules honestly ask yourself, “Do I value my relationship enough that I will prove to him/her that without at shadow of a doubt that I am not hiding anything from him/her that he/she would not feel uncomfortable reading?”
If you suddenly come down with a case of “everyday wandering eye” admiring other men or women, find yourself plotting your “exit strategy“, drawing up a profile of your ideal woman or man then you have arrived to a moment of truth my friend.
You have reached the border of affair vulnerability territory.
Flirting and cheating wait for you around the corner.
I’ve been there.
Time to get help or confess to him/her what bothers you with the relationship and that you want to find a solution.
I cannot stress how serious you must take it when you start to daydream about other men or women. Everyone is susceptible to flirting with someone outside their marriage.
3 Flirting Guidelines to Prevent Extramarital Affairs to Live By
Flirting leads down the path of no return.
Keep these three flirting guidelines in mind when discussing these rules:
- Protect yourself against yourself. Do not risk falling into the temptation to enter into any form of interaction that could arouse you.
- Protect yourself against others. If you’ve cheated in the past like I did in my first marriage then you know cheaters test your “relationship waters”. “Just how committed is she?”
- Beware how others interpret your words and actions. You might think you come across as attentive or friendly. The guy or lady you interact with though may think you are flirting.
These Facebook rules (and other texting and internet rules) will almost certainly eliminate the temptation to flirt and more importantly prevent searching for a “back up plan” relationship.
25 Facebook Rules for Married Couples to Protect Against Cheating
1. Install Web Tracking Software on All Devices
If you really trust each other then agree to install software on all your devices especially on phones. Good cell phone tracking software (spyware) monitors ALL communication conducted on a phone- texts, chats, uploaded pics, GPS locations. Just installing the software by itself proves to you both how serious you take the relationship.
2. Share Username and Password
So if keeping her life private matters more than that should prop up a red flag. Facebook harvests many “back up” boyfriend or girlfriend plans or temptations to reunite with exes. Sharing these prevents the temptation.
3. Agree to Discuss Adding or Modifying these Rules
Some of the rules may not matter much later or more importantly new situations may arise. Set periodic dates in advance to discuss how you feel about each other’s digital activity or any particular items or things that happened that bother you or make you uncomfortable.
4. Set FB Relationship Status to Married
The equivalent of a FB wedding band. Interested males or females check out your relationship status before deciding to make a move. Set your status to “Married” and do not change it.
5. No Pornography Sites
Installed web tracking on all devices should prevent this. Watching porn will not help your marriage and will only serve to confuse and hurt your partner. Keep an eye on your email and my blog. I plan to write a future post regarding the negative addictive effects of porn on your emotions through research and my own personal experience.
6. Block and Remove ALL Old Dating Site Membership Emails, Remove Dating Apps
Any reason to keep the temptation around? And while I’m on this subject remove all people you contacted prior to your marriage.
7. No Private Chats
Even hidden ones, but again spyware will eliminate the temptation to hide behind his or her back.
8. No Searching for Exes
No “Happy Birthdays”, no “checking in to see how you are doing”. You wanna play with fire you will get burned. “Hey, remember when…?” turns into “you really look good” turns into “let’s meet up sometime”. Look. Don’t go there. You talk about a fight? This could get nasty if she finds out and you’ll just feel awkward and ashamed.
9. Agree to Discuss Facebook Activity
Got those juices flowing and churning in your stomach after reading something on their wall? Bring it up. Do not wait.
10. Agree to Monitor Phone Call and Text Records
You can delete calls on your phone, but you cannot delete them from the phone records, nor texts. Prepare to check them well. Among a sea of numerous numbers one inbound text from a strange number could spell disaster to your relationship from a lonely “damsel in distress” who tests your relationship waters.
11. Agree to Review and Discuss ALL Contacts
Phone contacts, Facebook, Instagram, email… Any one contact may cast out their bait to see if you or your spouse takes it. Then they will attempt to reel you in. By the way this includes business contacts from social network sites like LinkedIn. “Hey, this is just about business,” is the easiest excuse to start flirting.
12. Agree to Audit All Emails and Texts
You might trust the contact, but not the message. Do NOT trust anyone. Business associate, family member, neighbor, your son’s third grade teacher. Yes, that is an eerie and overwhelming thought, but anyone could start to come onto you or your spouse at any moment.
What if that business associate or your cousin suffers a lull in their relationship? Do you really think they won’t think twice about “testing your relationship’s waters”? Guess again.
13. Time Limits and Curfews for Facebook and Other Social Networking
Time limits won’t necessarily lead to cheating, but does affect your quality time with your spouse. Curfews, on the other hand, do directly affect the temptation to stray outside your marriage to engage in flirty midnight discussions. Do not allow middle-of-the-night discussions with anyone. “Oh, it’s my brother”, paves the way for reaching out to an ex.
Despite setting the rule not to contact an ex all it takes is once to break the rule and flirting and sexts could spin out of control real quick.
14. Profile Pic of Both of You Together
In addition to setting relationship status to “Married” this is the other proverbial middle finger to those shameful homewreckers and flirts.
15. Upload Couple’s Pics of Both of You Monthly
I refer to your albums. Upload pics of romantic dinners, vacations, holding hands. These FB and Instagram pics serve as the proverbial “double middle finger”. I cannot stress enough the importance of thwarting ALL or any potential efforts to flirt with you or your spouse.
16. No Blocking Each Other (obviously)
Not even on accident. “Sorry honey I didn’t mean to block you. I meant that to be someone else,” provides a great excuse to contact the hot secretary or ex high school sweetheart. Not really sure if FB or social networks keep records of activity, but break this rule (yes, even on accident and pay the price)
17. Do Not Accept “Friend” Invites from Strangers
Nothing good could come out of accepting invitations to add a complete stranger as a contact. Some escorts or live cam girls stalk men’s FB accounts for clients. (Yeah, that’s scary!). I’ve also seen foreign family members stalk their relatives FB friends list to engage in flirtatious chats- some foreigners will do anything for a visa to gain access into other countries.
18. Discuss Any Friend Invitations or Requests to Exchange Contact Info
This applies especially to contacts of people you don’t know. Once you both agree to accept someone onto your contact list (any FB, social networks, phone) then prepare to allow permission to monitor that’s person’s messages.
19. Review ALL Pics, Videos Old and New, Decide to Remove or Keep
It sucks to say goodbye to an ex forever, but that’s part of the deal when you get married. Search all sources for pics, especially places they could be hidden. Not a technology person? Agree to hire someone who could scan all your devices. If your spouse hesitates then this could be a red flag. If they flinch do not jump to a quick “guilty” verdict. Maybe they want to remove their “souvenirs” but feel embarrassed for you to see them. Take a deep breath. Sure you want to see them?
20. Unfriend Anyone Who Asks Personal Questions or Makes Personal Comments
Set guidelines and prepare yourself to simply make judgement calls. Yes, it’s easy to accuse your spouse of acting paranoid or jealous. Simply put, if a question or comment makes your spouse uncomfortable there’s probably a good reason. Remove the contact. Write that name down. Keep a pic somewhere of them. See if they surface in future.
21. Post Romantic Events, Anniversaries or Milestones
Another way to prove your affection for each other. Affection wards off homewreckers.
22. No Complimenting Opposite Sex Friends (including his/her family members)
Hey, the two of you might not feel a thing for each other. That all could change when you compliment her new figure after successfully shedding weight from dieting and 6 months of yoga class. Compliments start as flickers and end in flirtatious hidden infernos. Flirting gives birth to affairs.
23. Post Family Pics with Your Spouse and Kids Monthly
Another way to express affection for you spouse and family and confess to the virtual world these words, “I’m taken!”
24. Do Not Post Private Marital or Family Matters
Have a problem with your spouse? Talk with them and them only. Cry to the world because you think venting will get it off your chest will wreck havoc on your relationship. Expect your spouse to either respond either by blowing up on your more for shaming them or avoiding you all together. Do not foster bad habits of pushing your spouse away or poor conflict resolution strategies. Complaining about your marriage, life or spouse to every one you no is the perfect example of poor conflict management.
25. No Individual Provocative Pics
Look, I can’t even believe I have to write this, but I’ve seen it. Any husband naive enough to think posting pics of his beautiful wife in EVEN SEMI-PROVOCATIVE pics invites trouble. No please do not talk stupid and respond, “I trust her. I want to show off my sexy wife.”
Did you forget how men interpret women posting sexy pics of themselves. Any man will see that as if she is sending out a distress signal, “Save me. I want rescued by a man who will really take care of me.” It doesn’t matter how you interpret the pics it ONLY MATTERS HOW the MEN LOOKING AT THEM THINK.
These rules protect you against ALL temptation. Do not play with fire. It’s not worth it. Shameful men who do not respect marriage may see this as a game, a challenge to see pry her away from you. Take down the “my wife is sexy and I want to show her off to the world” pics right now!
Establish rewards and punishment for following or breaking the rules
This step is not for the faint of heart, but you must do it. Prepare yourself to follow through. If you find yourself giving in after he/she breaks a rule then you set the stage for them to do it again. More importantly you might suffer from a bigger problem.
I hoped you like this list. Please share your opinion in the comment field below. And comeback to visit again.
- Is cybersex cheating? The American Psychological Association’s opinion on internet sex.
- Real life affair versus internet affairs.
- Red flag signs you have a Facebook cheating wife or husband.
What Facebook Rules Did I Miss? Which From the List Do You Like The Best?