Great question, right? But let’s answer a question with a question.
Since when does causing one problem solve another?
When I cheated on my first wife there’s no simpler way to say it: at the time life sucked. My ex was not easy to live with. She was overly selfish, was not afraid to argue (even in front of her mother or my parents- yeah-awkward), loved to talk, hated to listen, extremely manipulative, combative, just to summarize it- she was not easy to get along with.
I stuck it out hoping our relationship would improve, that we somehow would just start seeing each other’s side and find ways to coexist in harmony.
It never happened. The truth? It never would have.
Was that reason to cheat and find another woman while still being married?
The bottom line is relationships are tough. It’s normal.
Life is not always fair.
Life is not always fun.
Husband and wife will argue.
Guys will flirt with your wife. Your husband will check out other women.
Your career may stall.
Your life may be boring.
In the end the decision to be unfaithful to your spouse is a result of not dealing with problems in your marriage and everyday issues of your relationship with your spouse.
What should I have done?
I do not believe I would have been happy with my ex. She struggled with inner demons that no one besides herself could have exorcised. However, I should have at least been bold and told her exactly what I needed her to do in order for us to live together in peace: to treat me with respect and give us a chance to find medium ground.
And if she was not willing to do that and work as a team then I would leave- period!
I could have dated new women, but only I got out of the marriage.
The 2 Non-negotiables
So it’s important to note which lines cannot be crossed.
1. Your spouse must respect you.
2. You must not cheat on your spouse in any form.
If you truly want to have a happy marriage then you cannot seek another person with whom to have a relationship or you will eventually ruin your marriage. It’s just a matter of time.
You want a new mate? Then do it once you’re out of your current relationship.
Just do not cheat. It will only create more problems, possibly HUGE problems.
Ask yourself this question first before simply ending your current relationship.
Have you TRULY done everything you could have to give you and your spouse a chance to get along?