Life After Heartbreak: 10 Steps to Heal and Date Again

Guest Blogger Yeminie Kay

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February 2015, my life after heartbreak began then when my ex-wife left unannounced.

And never returned.

Moved in with a man she claims she met on a trip to NYC.

This topic, quite frankly re-opens the wound for me a bit, but, regardless, I want you to learn to pick yourself back up like I had to.

Your story might differ from mine, but you experienced a broken heart nonetheless.

And with that, I’d like to introduce you to a special guest Yeminie Kay, a fellow relationship blogger from RelationshipTidbits.com who will introduce you to some ideas of how to heal after heartbreak and move forward with your life….

What did you experience in your relationship the last time? Love or a heartbreak?

You sure now know the difference between the two and I know how badly you want to move on with life after a heartbreak, otherwise, you most likely wouldn’t be reading this post.

Not to worry, I have got you covered.

Life after heartbreak could be tough, but you can manage your expectations and continue without your past experiences defining your life or future.

Whether you have been married and cheated on before, or were in a relationship that headed in the direction you never saw coming, one thing remains the same regardless of the situation, and that is a heart that has been broken and shattered into pieces.

The beauty though is that no matter the hurt or pain of the past, the heart at some point begins to yearn for love once again but not just for any kind of love, but true love. 

It’s the way we have been designed. 

The heart was never made for loneliness and neither were you made to be alone. We were made to love.

Can you find love, date again and enjoy life after heartbreak?

Interested in re-learning how to live freely without fear and sadness?

How to enjoy dating, flirting, and connecting with men?

Click here for more information on how to create passionate, unconditional love in 7 easy steps.

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You can do it.

Though daunting, you can find love again if you look in the right places. 

But how do you know or recognize love when you see it and how do you know you are ready for a dating life after heartbreak?

These are subtle signs that scream “flash” that a guy is into you even if he has not said anything yet. You only need to be on the lookout for these signs so you can recognize them when you see them.

So now that you have ended that painful break-up, how do you know you are ready for another relationship? What are the things you need to put in place before you go into another relationship after a heartbreak? 

Life after Heartbreak: 10 Crucial Steps to Date Again and Find True Love

1. Life After Heartbreak Needs Emotional Healing

You want to first make sure you heal before going into another relationship. 

This may take time, but you need to be patient enough to let it take its course. You do not have to be in a hurry because you do not want your Ex to think you are a big loser or you want to appear tough and not be perceived as a weakling. 

Not giving yourself time to heal is like putting a band-aid on a deep wound. This can only hurt you more and the wound can only get deeper. Take your time to have the healing your heart needs, no matter how long it takes. 

How can you go through emotional healing successfully? 

By self-care -and by this, I mean self-care in all forms and areas. 

Do not underestimate the power of self-care to help you get through your healing process quickly. 

So, what do you need for all-round wholeness?

An external catalyst and self-pampering to help you emotionally. 

You also need an excellent nightly self-care routine to help your mind bounce back to the safe place its meant to be in. 

To get yourself together by making sure your body and mind gets all the self-care it needs, I recommend that you look into how to go about your daily self-care nighttime routine  

This should help you with the process of getting your mind well-rested and external glow going, so you can be more productive and ready when love finds you -or when you find love. 

Remember, it all flows from the inside out.

2.  To Enjoy Life after Heartbreak, You Need to Look Before You Leap

What qualities do you want in your next guy? 

Before you decide to fall in love again, you need to make sure you know what your dream man should look like so you can navigate through life after heartbreak easily. 

This shouldn’t be just physical qualities, but what actually makes up the person as a human and a lover.

If you intend to spend time with this guy at all or for the rest of your life, you need to look before you leap in choosing who this special person would be.

 It helps you at the end of the day and saves you a lot of heart aches.

3. Remember What Led to Your Last Painful Breakup 

…So, you don’t make the same mistakes. 

As they say, once bitten, twice shy. By your previous experience, you can easily pinpoint lapses and excesses in your past relationship.

Whether they were the ones you overlooked or weren’t so sensitive to, or those little pointers that you missed but wished you caught early on. 

You want to make sure you avoid those mistakes that led to that painful break up with your Ex otherwise, you would most likely repeat them. 

If you are currently thinking of dating again after a heartbreak, or you hope to do so sometime in the future, these are some simple dating tips that can help you in your new relationship. These tips will help you date like the boss that you are with no regrets if you follow through on them.

4. Set Realistic Goals

Though you want to be careful with your next choice of a partner, you need to remember that no one is perfect. Set realistic goals about your relationship.

You could set your bar high but not so high that it becomes unattainable for the both of you. 

This can only lead to frustration. Give some grace where needed and don’t be too hard on yourself either.

5. Don’t Project the Past Experience You Had with Your Ex on Your New-Found Love

STOP obsessing over why the last guy disappeared!

The real reason a man suddenly “disappears” from your life has nothing to do with the new guy.

Give the new guy a chance.

It could be very frustrating when someone must prove himself over and over again because of the fear you have, based on the bitter experience you had in your past relationship. 

If you are lucky to get someone good this time, don’t let comparison and overdoing it destroy your relationship. 

Let go of the pains of the past and know that this is a new relationship with a different person. Projecting someone else’s excesses and lapses on somebody else is like a cage. 

You don’t want your new or potential partner be the one to suffer for what someone else did to you.

6. Give the New Guy A Chance to Prove Himself

…By himself. 

Don’t stifle your relationship by going overboard because of your insecurities. Give him a chance to be himself. 

I know you are trying to avoid being heartbroken again but don’t be overtly oversensitive. It can only make the guy detach from you and if that happens, the relationship is likely to hit the rocks.

7. Heal after Heartbreak? Let the Past Be in The Past

This one is for you. 

Let go of the past and the fears you have about the past. If you choose to date again after a painful heartbreak, you need to remind yourself that this is a new beginning and you want to make sure you treat it as that. 

Yes, you have past hurts, but you don’t want to carry over this hurt and pain into your new relationship -if you truly want to enjoy your time with your newfound love.

8. Enjoy Yourself and Learn How to Be Single Again

A blueprint for romantic success to find the right man might be all you need to believe in love again and enjoy re-connecting with men.

But first…

Enjoy your single life.

Now that you have no relationship holding you down, do all the things you would have loved to do but couldn’t, because you were held down by your relationship. 

You should start doing those things now and stop procrastinating. 

Go out and mingle, travel and do all those things on your bucket

list that you have put on the back burner. It’s time for you to enjoy just being you. 

Set the stage for when “the one” comes calling. You know you have to be ready when he does.

9. Don’t Be Desperate

Be yourself and don’t pretend. 

Don’t throw yourself at the new guy on a platter either. 

Don’t give sex to keep your new guy and don’t feel so insecure that you feel a need to satisfy him in bed to keep him from leaving you. It’s a trap. Do not fall for it. 

Showing a guy, you are desperate for love might be a turn off for some men. By showing you are desperate, you may have ended the relationship way before it even started.

10.  Be Open to Love Again

Though this might be a tough one for you depending on your personality, give it your absolute best and be open to love again.

Give yourself another chance to love someone else who is more deserving of you and all that you have to offer. 

Make up your mind to make this relationship work as far as it lies with you.

Happy dating!

Bonus Tips:

– How you are treated in your relationship is a big sign of what your relationship would turn out to be at the end of the day.

To prevent a future life after heartbreak tomorrow, pay attention to the red flags today.  A man who would neglect or hit his wife in marriage would have shown the signs in one form or the other while dating, but love might just be the culprit that the sign was overlooked or forgiven.

-These tips work for both men and women.

Meet the Author of “Life after Heartbreak: 10 Steps to Heal and Date Again”

Yeminie Kay from Relationshiptidbits.com

Yeminie Kay is the Author and Content creator at relationshiptidbits.com. She provides tips that help improve your relationships with those around you and those you love. Her content area covers Love & friendships, Family relationships and Self-care. Sign up here to receive her free E-book: The Love Recipe For Successful Relationships.

Share with me your Biggest Fears About Your Life After Heartbreak…

…below in the comments field.