So you had an affair and now you are wondering if you should confess to cheating. You run through all the possible outcomes of what will happen if you admit your infidelity.
“If I confess will I end up alone?”
“Will he tell all my friends?”
“What will people think of me?
“Will he physically hurt me?”
This is not an easy situation to be in, but more than anything you should ask yourself this:
Are you looking for any easy way out? Are you looking for a path to avoid pain?
If you are a person that cares about other feelings then know there is no painless escape route. Everyone makes choices that affect other peoples’ lives at some point. This is that moment.
Your partner’s life is in your hands. Don’t they deserve the opportunity to decide what to do? You put yourself in that spot. Let’s not judge whether what you did was right or wrong, instead let’s just say you are the only one that benefited at all from your decision to have an affair and you did not think about your partner. With that said there is some hope for both of you in the end.
Let’s get started on discussing the possible outcomes if you confess to cheating.
What could happen:
What could happen:
But you continue in the marriage (or now you are married) and now the feelings are going to be even more complicated. In the case of a boyfriend and girlfriend getting married later and then you have kids together, things could get very uncomfortable.
What could happen:
This may be a sign that you have some issues that are unresolved inside of you. If you are not married yet then perhaps you are not for a deep relationship right now. Please do not put the pressure of feeling like you need a relationship to be happy (with ANYONE), at least not now. It will hurt no matter what choice you make, but not confessing could result in far worse pain later.
If you want to work things out with your partner then you will need to resolve your own issues. If you are not deliberate about your recognition of your own issues neither of you will be able to move on. He/she will not trust you and be miserable wondering if they are involved in a dead relationship. And you will second guess yourself forever if you should have stayed or moved on.
Yes, you should confess or pain will follow you forever. HOWEVER, if you are pretty certain your partner will cause physical pain to you or the person you cheated with then you should not confess just yet, instead seek professional advice from a counselor.
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