7 Dating Red Flags That You’re His Back Up Plan

Guest Blogger Rachel

1313 Views

The girl of his dreams or the back-up plan? Which one are you?

Tapping on the login button on the dating app always comes with the hope that today could be the day you’re going to be approached by him.

He is the guy who will contact you first. His profile won’t be perfect, but it will be honest. The man behind that profile will be charming, but not too sweet; easy to talk with and most importantly – interested in you only.

Then, after a few days of getting to know each other online, you will get the first date that will lead you to your happily ever after.

Or is it?

Online dating and the red flags dating scammers wave at you

I know you don’t want to be any guy’s back-up plan and trust me, there are so many men out there who just won’t be up-front with you.   

Let’s be honest: before you meet your prince, there’s a whole bunch of frogs out there that won’t change even a bit after you kiss them. And it’s good to know how to recognize them before you decide to give them your heart.

7 Dating Red Flags to Keep you from Being Someone’s Back-Up Plan

[Affiliate Disclaimer] This post contains affiliate links that pay a commission if product is purchased.

So, today we talk about the red flags online dating comes with. These are seven signs he isn’t looking for anything serious, and he doesn’t believe you could be his dream-girl. In fact, these are signs he’s probably on the wait for another woman or running an online contest between a few of you. Shall we begin?

1. It takes him ages to answer  

Of course, he has to work. And he has to eat. And he has to go to the gym. He must sleep. He wants to go out with friends.

And no, he isn’t obligated to stay online and answer every message you send.

However, he should be present in the conversations, and he should let you know if he’s going offline.  

The reason he can’t be bothered with answering your messages right away is that he’s probably occupied with another – more pleasant conversation. Meaning – you’re his back-up plan.

2. He’s on and off  

Is he online for two days and then gone for another five? Does he get cranky if you dare to ask him why? Does he act weirdly after he’s been offline for a while? Maybe offers some lame excuse with the hope you’ll just go on with another topic?

Well, if your guy is shady about his reasons to be offline for a longer time, that might mean he doesn’t want to tell the truth.

He was either dating another woman (and things didn’t go as planned) or even more serious – he’s spent his time with his official girlfriend or his wife.

You know that’s not something unusual. The Internet gives you many opportunities to connect with good people. But it also offers opportunities to connect with not-so-innocent people to have another life online.  

Want to be sure he isn’t in a relationship or married? 

Instant Checkmate can help you find out if he has a wife or girlfriend by revealing secret social media accounts, fake dating profiles and photos of him with other women.

Then you can tick off at least one thing about him before you decide if he’s worth your heart.  [Click here] for more information on Instant Checkmate. (Note: service only offered for US residents).

3. He’s a sweet talker

Women love with their ears, and that’s not a secret to men.

I’ve got my heart broken more than once just because I decided to believe in these sweet words instead of shaking my head off them and focus on actions.

Is your guy a sweet talker? Does he know exactly what to say to make you smile and melt in front of the monitor?

Are you secretly taking screenshots of his messages? Do you feel like he’s quoting a love novel that’s written out of your heart?

Sweet talkers are well-experienced in online dating guys who are perfectly aware of how to sweep a woman off of her feet. They know which buttons to push so they hear you sing and see you dance for them.

But sweet talkers have become so good in this because they’ve practiced it for a while. Their goal is only one thing- get the woman – move to the next one. So, if he’s a sweet talker you want to ignore the sugary stuff and make him open up to you. If he doesn’t – that’s a dating red flag.

4. He’s short on words

On the other end, you could meet a guy who’s actually very short on words. It’s almost like you’re pulling the information out of him.  

Here’s something you might relate to: You start chatting with that guy, everything goes well until one moment. One day he just stops with the long sentences and the questions. He’s still texting, and he claims everything’s fine. When you decide just to ignore him, he starts texting you first and keeps the conversations with you open.

Well, the reason is that you’re his back-up plan. He’s probably into someone else, but until things go smoothly there, he needs to be sure there’s another option waiting for him. Oh, yeah, you’re that “option”!

5. He doesn’t want to connect…

No, you don’t need him to connect with you on a soul level… yet. But you want to be friends on Facebook, maybe follow each other on Twitter or Instagram, and he suddenly tells you he’s deleted all of his social media profiles.

Yeah, right!

The real reason he doesn’t share his social media with you is that he’s hiding something. Girlfriend? Wife? Or something even more dangerous like convicted sex offender or felon. 

Instant Checkmate could tell you exactly what. [Click here] to find out if he’s lying about his social media profiles.

The real reason he doesn’t share his social media with you is that he’s hiding something.

6. He’s been shady on your dates

Maybe you went out on a date or two.  

However, things aren’t as you wished they were. He’s been acting weirdly. He doesn’t give too many details, but just enough to satisfy your initial curiosity.  

Once you get home and start telling your best friend how things were, you realize you don’t really know too much. Somehow, he’s found a way to cover the important stuff.

That’s a huge red flag he hasn’t been completely honest with you. Dating scammers specialize in giving “just enough” of information to keep them anonymous to the people they meet.  

7. You’re his last-minute call

Do you remember how you wanted to set your first date for Friday night, but he had to stay at work late? Then suddenly, his boss showed mercy, and now he’s perfectly fine to go on that date.

The truth is that you were his last-minute call. He had other plans, but they changed. You were the closest thing to replacing whatever better thing he had in mind. You are his back-up plan.

What’s the best way not to be a victim of an online scammer?

These were seven dating red flags that you’re his back-up plan.  

But how do you know that you’re safe, and should you consider giving a chance to that guy?

The first thing I advise you to do is to listen to your intuition. Our subconscious mind always picks up on the small clues and red flags around us. The problem comes when we decide to ignore these feelings.

Whatever your gut is telling you, there is only one thing that will protect you – having your own back and checking the guy you date before it’s too late.  

If you feel strong emotions for him but sense that something does not add up consider running a background check to look for fake social media or dating profiles.

A background check can also help discover if his identity matches who he claims to be by revealing his personal and business connections and then cross-referencing their social media profiles for pics of him with possible girlfriends or even his wife or chats. This matches his real name from the photo tags and conversations.

Does he claim to live in one spot or travel for business? Is he lying about where he works? A background check with Instant Checkmate can show you other properties he owns or his possible work history.

Only once you’re sure he’s honest, you can allow yourself to start falling for him. 

Meet the Author

Rachel from DoctorForLove.com

Hey, I’m Rachel from DoctorForLove. I help women fall in love with the right person who will nourish, protect and appreciate them for who they are.

Do you feel like his dating back-up plan? (Share your comment below)