What if you fell in love with someone who looked like The One, but only posed as your soulmate? Enter the False Soulmate.
Now to set things straight I will define what I mean by False Soulmate in this post.
I refer to them as someone who you fall for hard, who you believe possesses all the things you desire in an ideal mate, but instead will only cause you headaches in the long run.
Most of you have met this person before.
Things happen fast, hard and easy.
The person and relationship seem too good to be true.
You chalk up the speedy romantic ascension to simply that you make the perfect match.
I mean, everything looks right, so why not think that way?
You share deep attraction for one another, share similar values, you get along well, you clear up disagreements effortlessly, can talk about deep subjects for hours and you appear to care deeply for each other.
Sounds good to me.
But this post is about the False Soulmate, not the True Soulmate and when the relationship lasts a little longer the truth reveals itself.
That’s when you find out that your soulmate impostor only sticks around when they receive something in return. And when life is grand they smile from ear-to-ear, but when things get a little ugly they come across disgruntled.
Why Should You Get Good at Spotting a False Soulmate?
For one you should know how to identify a false soulmate so that you save yourself from lifelong misery or to avoid the unpleasant experience of divorce later.
But also to realize how easily you fall in love and identify the type of person who’s not good for you.
When an alarm goes off in your head warning you of the impending danger then you start to understand better what you DON’T want and in turn what you DO want.
And below I have designed a detailed list of 15 False Soulmate Signs to store in your head so that when see you these toxic traits begin to surface you can spot the danger.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
15 False Soulmate Signs Checklist: How to Recognize Toxic Love
[WARNING] If the “love of your life” displays these signs then you might consider finding the closest exit. What tastes good today will give you a sour stomach later. Or another way to put it would be that it may stop your hunger now, but it won’t nourish your body.
1. Sex Addict
In the beginning of a relationship nothing is more exciting than having sex like rabbits, but that also spells a recipe for major disappointment later. That’s why it may pay to wait.
Sex changes a relationship. And it can zap it of the potential to flourish later. Sexual connection cannot replace spiritual nor emotional connection if you desire a long-term relationship.
2. Emotional Drain
A true soulmate fills you with energy and joy. You legitimately feel happy around them when they enter the room, but a false soulmate after a while begins to remove that positive energy from you. When things do not go the way they planned they start to act despicable.
3. Insecure and Clingy
If they had it their way they’d follow you everywhere. They’d sit on your shoulder like a parrot. The “Tell me you love me” requests pour in and never cease, along with 20 consecutive texts and a heap of missed phone calls and voicemails.
Hoist an oxygen tank on your back because you’ll need it to breath.
The false soulmate loves to hear “yes”, but hates to hear “no”. In the beginning a true soulmate will offer all the unconditional support in the world. The false soulmate, on the other hand, begins to show their true colors when they show their frustration and anger streaks.
Revealing everything in their heart and mind presents danger in the eyes of the false soulmate. It benefits them to tell you what you want to hear and hide what makes them look like a threat to you. This particular false soulmate sign is a toxic trait that also opens the door to cheating under the right circumstances. True soulmates maintain a healthy line of open communication.
6. Quick Desire to Marry
Healthy relationships take time to develop. The possibility of finding your perfect match, or at least your ideal partner, easily is not high. Therefore, if you meet someone who starts to have serious discussions with you about marriage then ask yourself an important question, “How could he/she possibly know each me well enough to decide to spend the rest of his/her life with me?”
7. Quick Desire to Move In Together
While moving in together is not as life altering as getting married, moving in still presents massive amounts of pressure and even danger. Ask yourself this, “What can you possibly benefit from by moving in together that you can’t experience just dating and living separate?”
“What risks will arise from moving in together financially and regarding your safety both emotionally and physically (especially if you have kids)?
And if things do not go well how difficult would it be to split (lease, belongings, finances, etc.)?
8. Too Quick to Forgive
Differences will arise. Clashes will happen. And forgiving quickly just to avoid the discomfort of confrontation will not end the problem, it will only postpone it. Deep bonds and true love do not live off of romance, rainbows and kisses. You must learn to weather the storm.
A true soulmate will appear to be perfect. They are amicable and friendly to all. A modern day princess or prince charming. But this masks their disapproval for people who rub them the wrong way or disgust them. A pleaser may often resort to passive-aggressiveness to avoid problems or get what they want.
10. Natural Flirt
Men often misinterpret a woman’s overly friendly and polite behavior as flirting. And as a result these women will receive much unprovoked lewd and sexual advances. They’re walking men magnets.
Despite innocent intentions to simply make friends someone who cannot repel unwarranted flirtatious behavior will add unnecessary pressure to relationship. Not to mention this could open the door to cheating under the wrong circumstances at the wrong time.
One day you feel like their #1 priority, the next day you drop several rankings in their life. The false soulmate will drag you along a roller coaster ride-like relationship due to their desire to please everyone and indecision. You often will find yourself on the brink of extinction because the threat of them leaving you is real since they base even their biggest decisions off of feelings.
12. Still Loves the Hunt of Women/Men
Says all the right things to illustrate his affection towards you, but does the opposite behind your back. Does not come to grips with the fact that he or she does not want to commit. Believes they want a relationship because it feels safe.
Loves the idea of falling in love. Tells their sob story to their new target how their relationship has gone sour and how they need something different.
Lies, lies and more lies. The worst is they lie to themselves. Your false soulmate does not want a relationship- they love the hunt for new love.
Cannot live or breathe without a relationship. A partner to the false soulmate becomes their source of light and energy. They only feel happy when the relationship goes well. And when jealousy sets in or fear of abandonment takes over they fall apart emotionally.
This is not healthy.
Strong people can survive time apart from their loved ones. They feel comfortable in their own skin and can take care of themselves.
A co-dependent false soulmate cannot endure a long period of controversy in their relationship and the odds increase that they will cheat during these time periods.
The false soulmate showers you with compliments of how beautiful you are and sprinkles in how special they see you as a person.
To fall in love quickly over someone’s personality and their spiritual connection with you is nearly impossible. It could happen, I suppose, if you do have the core qualities that create that true soulmate connection.
However, only time will tell how you interact when the disputes begin. But in the beginning if he or she is obsessed with you then most likely they simply have a physical infatuation with you.
What a sweetheart! Does everything to make you happy without asking for anything in return. But is that really the case? The false soulmate gives and gives and keeps giving because they fear you will run away. Treating you special (all the time) should make you see the value in them.
In essence they are attempting to hide their insecurity that they are not good enough for you.
♦Up to Their Eyeballs in Credit Card Debt
Some people finally come to grips with their debt problem and rid themselves of this financial cancer. Others do not, and if you end up marrying someone drowning in debt who keeps adding more debt then you will share in their problem.
Financial problems are the number one leader in divorce, followed by cheating.
No matter how lovely your partner is as a person debt is a contagious disease. You will have to deal with your false soulmate ‘s debt.
♦ Time and Distance Apart Damages the Love
True soulmates can weather the storm when apart. Time spent away from each other becomes a time out, not an on-field brawl. If you love each other than you will long for each other and make all effort to ensure the other knows how much you care for them.
This will avoid jealousy or fear of losing them. You should want your partner to miss you because you offer unconditional support and truly want them to be happy- even when you are apart.
♦ Super Quick Start to Relationship
From 0 to 100 in weeks or even days. Some people are meant to be together. They just know what they are looking for and have the personalities to get along. However, these are exceptions to the rule. Starting the race fast usually means tiring out and not finishing it.
Long-term relationships endure because of how you interact with each other through good times and bad.
20 Soulmate Signs: How to Recognize True Love. Will you ever find “the One”?
“Believe in Love” Review by Evan Marc Katz. Dating book for midlife women to rebuild confidence and start dating again.
“Finding the One Online” Review by Evan Marc Katz. How to master online dating profiles to become magnet to quality online daters.
“Why He Disappeared” Review by Evan Marc Katz. Explains why men you date stop texting and calling you back and how to change that.