Who to Use This Text Strategy On

Any relationship stage, but not for the early stages of re-sparking romance

All the other relationship stages, especially during the attraction stage or while dating, but before a committed relationship makes the ideal times.

Purpose of this Strategy

1. To get him to engage in order to get a date
2. Gauge if and how much he likes you back
3. Gauge how responsive he is via texts
4. Get him to engage for fun, flirty games to build up sexual tension
5. Engage in evaluation conversation to determine if he is boyfriend material
6. After the initial stages of re-sparking romance to share mutual appreciation or to seduce one another

All these purposes help you achieve other bigger objectives.

If your next objective requires him to respond; therefore, you test him to see if he will.

For example, if you want to gauge how much he likes you then you will want to test how quickly he responds, if he responds just as flirty back or if he begins to initiate the flirty texts.

Obviously, those are all good signs that he likes you.

Or one of your criteria for a relationship is to find a man who is available to contact and who will respond and openly communicate.

Then you’d want to gauge how responsive he is via text since that is how you prefer to communicate.

Wrong Circumstances to Apply This Strategy

During the initial stages of re-sparking romance.

If you and your partner feel more like roommates than a couple then you should not send texts that require (or appear to) elicit a response.

It will come across pushy and desperate.

You must warm up the feelings to reach that next stage where asking for a response is appropriate. (More on that in a bit)

How to Do It

Base your questions or curiosity-evoking statements on your current circumstances.

What’s relationship stage are you both in right now?

If you just met, what signs has he shown that he likes you?

Has he paid you any compliments?

If in a relationship with him, how open is your communication right now?

How often do you text one another?

Would he expect to flirt with him or would it seem awkward?

If you do not know how he feels about you then start with cute flirty text messages first, nothing too sexy.

Rule of Thumb: if you cannot predict how he will feel or respond to your texts then you should send texts to see how he will respond.

Examples of Text Messages to Respond

Curiosity Questions/Comments

Make him curious to find out more.

“Guess what?”

“Bet you can’t guess what I’m doing right now.”

“If you gave me a magic lamp and I had three wishes do you know what I’d wish for?”

Here are the flirty romantic text messages. Check out the “Flirt- Make Him Chase” section below for more.

“If I were there right now, what would you do?”

 Summary

Getting your man to respond does not have to involve flirting. You simply want him to respond, you don’t want him to ignore you. And ideally, you’d like to engage in back-and-forth conversation.

If you do decide to take the first flirty move then start with cute innocent flirting to gauge how he feels about you.

Who to Use This Text Strategy On

Aim to suggest that a man take you on the kinds of dates that make it easier to engage and facilitate flirting, touching, laughing and getting within close proximity. 

These kinds of dates will steer you clear of the “Friend Zone”. Get him attracted to you as soon as possible.

This starts before the date by sending romantic text messages, but do not overdo it.

Save some of the magic and conversation for the first date.

Make the first date the highest priority.

You could also apply this strategy to get a more dates after the first one.

Purpose of this Strategy

To get the first date, or the next one.

Beyond just getting the first date you should determine if your man of interest will make for a fun date and someone with whom you can share an interesting conversation.

Of course, some men prefer to communicate in-person and will come across awkward over texts.

Therefore, stay open-minded, control your nerves, do not get overly selective.

Give the guy a chance because he’ll likely act more outgoing and lively on the date than over texts.

1) Engaging in text conversation to get him to share more about himself

2) Flirting with him to spice things up and to build up excitement for the date then…

3) Skillfully encouraging him to ask you out (if he does not pick up on your clues that you want him to).

Wrong Circumstances to Apply This Strategy

Examples of Text Messages Using This Strategy

Venue Advice, Followed By Suggesting You Go Together

Him: “Turkey Lake Park. It has great lakes views and open areas for him to run, as well as shaded areas for picnics to rest.”

You: “Awe. Nice! Maybe we could go together sometime. I’m usually available after 6 PM during the week.”

2. You: “Since you know so much about the best happy hours in town. Where do you suggest I go?”

Him: (He describes a place).

You: “Sounds fun! Since you know the place so well, maybe we could go together.” 

Follow up Comments to Suggest You Want Him to Ask You Out

Him: (He mentions a place he loves to take a walk and stop at open-air cafes.)

You: “Sounds beautiful. I think it’d be fun to go together. Maybe we could next week. I’m available after 6 Tues-Thurs.”

Him: “I love (name of place). It’s my new favorite to go on Thursdays.”

You: “I bet you’d make it so fun to go. I’m available next Thursday.”

Suggestive Date Request

You: “My favorite place to (name of activity) is (name of place). You’d like it. I could be your guide.

Or make it flirty.

You: “You’d love (name of place). I usually go there on Wednesday or Thursday nights. We should go. I could be your body guard and protect you from all the hot girls hitting on you. 😉”

Assumptive Plans

“So, when are we going to (name of venue)?”

“We’ve talked a lot about (type of place). When are we finally going to go?”

Creative Invite

Summary

Get him to talk about places that he’d like to go. Choose the ones you’d also like to go.

Suggest that you’d like to go together or in flirty way make an assumptive comment that implies that you expect him to take you out.

Gauge his interest in going out with you from how much interest he shows in wanting to get to know you.

Make it easy for him to ask you out.

Who to Use This Text Strategy On

Especially useful for early dating stages after you meet a guy and before the first date or only going on a few dates.

Flirting becomes your “go-to” method to get him to respond.

If he hasn’t shown obvious signs of attraction towards you then you should ease into innocent and cute flirting.

If he then follows suit and begins to flirt back then ramp it up some more.

Purpose of this Strategy

In committed relationships to build up sexual anticipation for when you see each other in-person.

For re-sparking romance AFTER you warm him up with the strategy discussed further down.

Wrong Circumstances to Apply This Strategy

Examples of Texts Using this Strategy

Choose the appropriate situations to use any of the spicy, saucy texts listed here below.

Provocative Questions/Comments

“Guess what I’m not wearing.”

“Want to know what turns me on most about you?”

“I noticed something hot about you today. OMG. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Incomplete Thoughts

He won’t resist responding.

“I can’t stop thinking about that thing you do.” 

“You did something yesterday and, hmm, I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“If I could just, hmm, with you right now. I’d…”

Emoji-only texts

Send clues about inside stories or jokes you share or just something provocative to turn him on.

🚗💋 

(Reminding him about last night when you made out in his car).

☔👭

(Reminiscing about last week’s date when you got caught in the rain and held hands).

🌙⭐😘

(Referring to your plan to kiss under the moon and stars).

Image-only Texts

I won’t insert any images here, instead, I’ll explain it.

Applying the same strategy as the emoji one above use images instead.

Insert flirty captions.

Send a pic to the guy you’ve gone out on a couple of dates of two people making out with the caption, “Wanna try this?”

Or a pic, or link, to the brewery you want to try out with him with the caption, “Next Friday?”

If you’ve discussed your favorite wines send a pic of your favorite right from the shelf at  the grocery store with the caption, “My place, couch and movie next Wednesday?”

Backward Texts

Play with him, tease him. Keep him on his toes. Make him guess what you are saying.

Try completely backward romantic text messages …

Ouy tuoba gnikniht.

Ssik eht rof uoy knaht.

Pil rouy etib ot tnaw i.

Or just invert the words but no the whole message.

Sdnah mraw ruoy deen I.

Centipede Words

One complete, sentence-long word to tease him and to get him guessing what you are saying, no capitalization.

Make them flirty. Send them while he’s at work, but only if things have gotten flirty (or been flirty if you’re in a relationship).

iwishicouldmeetyouintheparkinglotandmakeout 

letskissunderthestarsattheparkbench

canitryyourlipsfordesserttonight?

Hypothetical Sensual Situations

Have fun with when you are apart together.

He’s on the couch at home with his dog watching a movie while you work on your laptop.

You: “Would your dog get jealous if I massaged your chest and back?”

Or…

You: “What would you do if I it were me laying there next to you, and not your dog?”

Let’s say you were on a business trip. You’re in your hotel room after a long day of meetings. He asks how you are doing.

You: “Well, I just got out of the shower dripping wet. Want to help dry me off?”

These work great for any relationship stage including husband and wife being apart.

Summary

Ideally, you want your man to chase often. We love playful women who know how to relax and have fun. 

Just gauge his feelings. Test the waters with cute romantic text messages, nothing too spicy at first.

Only begin to ramp up the sexiness after he shows signs of wanting it. Save yourself the embarrassment of flirting with a man who does not like you in that way.

Of course, flirting can get a guy’s attention and to have the hots for you when otherwise he may not have noticed you.

We find it super hot when a woman we see as shy courageously makes the first flirty move on us.

Who to Use This Text Strategy On

He treats her the way she wants and she finds him super attractive.

She wishes to bond with him in an emotional level only possible with someone she already loves or is capable of loving for a long time.

Purpose of this Strategy

Wrong Circumstances to Apply This Strategy

Money matters as well, but above all time matters most to men.

Does he sacrifice what matters to him to make room for her in his life. Does he go out of his way to make her happy?

If he does something to hurt he does he take responsibility for it?

Does he feel bad when she hurts? 

Although, asking for help, advice or for him to fix something might make him feel closer to you.

Make sure to thank him and praise him for how helpful he is.

Examples of Texts to Help Develop Deep Emotional Connection with a Man

Provide Feedback after a Date

Demonstrate Support of Our Personal and Career Aspirations

If he feels that you impede his chances of achieving his personal and career goals that the clock will start counting down to the end of your relationship.

Yes, he does need to demonstrate that he prioritizes you in his life or you will have no proof that you matter to him.

But never let jealousy push you to interfere with his time to build the other parts of his life outside the relationship.

“Honey, I want you to have time to finish your project. Let’s meet later after you’ve finished.”

“I can’t wait until you (something he wants to achieve). When you do we will celebrate.”

“That is such a hefty goal. What inspires you to chase that dream?”

Ask Him for Advice

Men cannot resist helping people, especially women. This too triggers our “hero instinct”.

And we certainly like feeling right. Ha, ha. Give him the chance to show off his expertise.

“I know you are so good at (his talent or skill). Can I ask you for advice?”

“Since you know (his talent or skill), can you help me with something?”

Or just ask the question straight up.

“I need your help with something. How would you handle (describe the situation)?”

Ask for Help with Tasks

The same concept as asking for advice but ask him to help you with a chore or task around the house. 

Moving a heavy item.

Building something.

Cleaning something.

Ask Him to Fix Something

And once again, the same idea as the previous two.

You can start any of these texts with something like, “I need some help with something and you’re the best person for it.

Summary

Us guys love to help and feel needed.

Fixing, advising and helping you with tasks or household chores makes him feel special. It gives him quantifiable value in his eyes.

Even if you do not need help, ask for it.

This is one of the best ways to earn points with him.

Thank him for his help and praise him for it.

The concept here is to make him feel special to you, needed by you and unique above all other men to you.

Who to Use This Text Strategy On

In a relationship that feels cold and distant but that you believe love still exists. You demonstrate that you care about each other.

You give each other time and go out of your way to get each other gifts.

Purpose of this Strategy

To reconnect through texts that show your appreciation and admiration of your partner.

To invite them to participate in activities that facilitate engagement. Do not just rely on texts alone.

Engage in activities that allow you to laugh, talk, share, touch or even work as a team.

Check out this post of mine that reveals the best first dates that lead to a second date.

The fun date ideas listed in this post can work to rekindle romance as they encourage active participation or something spontaneous and unique.

This will allow you to naturally work your way back to first date feelings.

To get back to how you felt when you both felt highly attracted to one another and expressed it effortlessly.

But it all starts with texts.

Wrong Circumstances to Apply this Strategy

In an abusive relationship.

Where lack of respect exists then you need professional assistance.

In a short-term relationship where he has not demonstrated any real sacrifice to make you happy.

In this case, you have not bonded; therefore, there is nothing to rekindle.

Example Texts to Apply this Strategy

Bring Back Old Fun Activities

Invite him to do something that involved more than just talking or watching. Again, check out these fun date ideas (they work for more than just first dates).

You: “Do you know something I really miss doing?

Him: “What is it?”

You: (the name of the activity you both used to like doing). What are the chances that we could do it again soon?”

Use some of the techniques I showed you how to get him to respond. Use the “guess what” technique.

He will struggle to resist answering you quickly. Ask questions.

They tend to lead to easier engagement.

You: “Guess what I miss?”

Him: “What is it?”

You: (the name of the activity you used to have fun together doing).

Date Wish List

Us men have trouble resisting a challenge, especially when it involves making a woman happy.  

Suggest fun date ideas, even if you’ve already previously discussed them

You: “You know something that I’ve always wanted to do that you’d like to?”

Then suggest an idea that involves both of your participation.

That’s why I suggest that you read my post on fun date ideas (or email me, I will give you ideas).

Getaway Trip Wish List

Mini-vacations can cure a stale relationship.

Consider anything within a three-hour drive or short plane ride away.

Warm up the conversation with something hard-to-resist replying to.

You: “Honey, I really need to do something different.”

Then suggest a getaway trip that you think you both will like.

You: “Which adventure excites you most? (Name three general ideas without going into specifics. Leave room for you both to come up with the details).

Act spontaneously.

You: “Sweetie, why don’t we live a little. Act a little crazy for once. I’m tired of the same boring routine, aren’t you?”

This statement will challenge him to do something fun and not come across boring.

After he asks what you have in mind, suggest you go out to eat at your favorite restaurant you haven’t visited in a while to discuss your idea.

Summary

Participatory fun activities will serve you better to begin to rekindle romance first before jumping into any kind of romantic text messages.

After you share fun moments again then you can try out the flirting techniques I shared above or the techniques taught in one of my favorite romantic text messages guide.

For Who and When to Use This Text Strategy

In relationships where you’ve discussed a future together.

Notice I said discussed, not presumed.

You actually talked about it.

If you haven’t then it’s time to gauge where he stands with you.

If he’s just biding his time while he figures out what he wants next with you, or worse, what other girls out there suit him better, then you’ll just waste your time and frustrate yourself by expressing what needs you want him to meet.

Therefore, this strategy works for the kind of relationship where you no doubt that you like each other and have discussed a future, even if simply express interest in still seeing each other.

The kind when you’re together and you cannot keep your hands off one another.

He goes out of his way to do things that make you happy, but something still lacks.

You the key here is to know without a doubt that he wants to sacrifice to make you happy- that he does not want to lose you.

However, despite his generous ways you still have certain needs that he does not meet on his own. You tried giving him clues, but he apparently does not pick up on them.

Keep things positive and moving forward, don’t derail your efforts by coming across needy or whiny.

But use detail in regards to what you want or how you want to feel. Us men want specifics.

Purpose of this Strategy

Encourage him to take action on his own that proves he wants to take care of your needs.

After all, you do not want to beg.

You want assurance that a long-term relationship remains a possibility between you two.

Or that the long-term relationship you’re in right now still has a bright future.

You’ve encountered a few bumps in the road, but let’s find out how you can drive around them.

Wrong Circumstances and Ways to Apply This Strategy

Do not, under any circumstances, no matter how hard he tries, engage in deep, long conversations over text.

You risk a huge misunderstanding.

Instead, invite your partner to speak in person, over the phone (if you cannot meet in person), video conference or read between the lines and start giving them what they want.

Examples of Texts to Apply this Strategy

You’ll notice that some of the strategies repeat themselves.

Sometimes it makes more sense to start from the beginning, to reignite the first romantic feelings that you shared for one another.

Some of these techniques validate behaviors that you support, that earn you respect and help you feel like a lady.

Think of it as a sort of training that reinforces the behaviors that you want him to repeat.

Appreciation for Specific Deeds (…so that He Does It Again in the Future)

This may require the technique explained in a previous section where you ask for help first then thank and praise him for his effort.

“Thank you for your help in the garden yesterday honey. You’re so good at it.”

“Honey, without your help yesterday (state the specific thing he helped with), I wouldn’t be able to finish my project. I always need your help sweetie, thank you.”

Appreciation for Feelings

“Last night was great honey. I miss nights like that. I really need them to happen more often. I love how you make me feel attractive and sexy.”

You: “Sweetie, you know something I miss?”

After he asks for you to finish then…

You: “How you used to bring me flowers. You always found the most unique and prettiest boutiques.”

Propose that You Help One Another

Everyone needs help with something.

Be on the lookout for something that you strongly feel would help him and that you could help him with.

Initiate the short text conversation with a question.

For example…

You: “I noticed something that you could use, that would make things easier for you. May I make a proposal?”

After he asks what it is…

You: “You’ve recently worked very late on that big project for work. With so much responsibility I’ve noticed that you haven’t been eating much. I have some snack items in mind that I could prepare for you’ll like and that will hold you over. May I share them with you?”

After he asks you to share the ideas, then follow up with…

You: “Then could I ask you for one thing that’s important to me?”

After he asks what it is.

You: “Could we do movie night this Saturday with popcorn like we used to? I have a movie in mind.”

Summary

Ask for small favors first, reward him for participating then state with elicit word choice what you would like to happen more regularly, as to not leave any doubt what you want.

Examples:

“Thank you for the flowers honey. You have no idea how special it makes me feel to you. I need you in my life. I’d love for you to bring them more often.”

“The way you held my hand last night at dinner sent chills up my spine. I miss your touch. I need it. It’d make me so happy if you did it more often on our dates.”

“Popcorn and a movie while cuddling on the couch is so magical. Thank you for such a special evening baby. It would make me happy if we dedicated one night a week during our busy schedules.”

“Thank you, sweetie, for cleaning the kitchen last night. It relieves me of a lot of stress. I adore you for helping out. I’ll give you a good back massage tonight.”