Who wants to talk about Christian marriage sex today?
A better question would be who thinks about it, but fears talking about it?
Wow! It looks like more than half of you raised your hands.
I mean let’s face it, if the topic of achieving sexual satisfaction didn’t strike a nerve in your head then you wouldn’t have found this post.
So let’s talk.
Christian marriage or not, lack of sexual pleasure still plays a major role in leading to mutual relationship dissatisfaction. Often enough one partner feels pressured to have sex while the other feels sexually deprived. One hungers for frequent touch and intimacy while the other prefers it moderation.
In the end, many of us tend to bottle up the discussion of intimate Christian marriage sex and hope our frustrations sort themselves out.
Millions of Christians grapple with their conflicting understanding of enjoying sex as God designed it or to hide their emotions in fear that they appear impure in God’s eyes.
Furthermore, the Lord our Savior is the only judge whose opinion counts. However, millions of “self-appointed” Christian judges across the globe point their fingers at one another to accuse their brothers and sisters in Christ of blasphemy.
“You sin if you desire and enjoy uninhibited sex,” they shout.
As many of us agree, God designed sex for husband and wife to enjoy. Click here to read a sensual verse regarding a husband’s intimate desires for his wife: Song of Solomon: 7: 6-12
Yet it appears that some Christians who wish to enjoy sex, but do not succeed in finding satisfaction themselves would rather take the pleasure away from the ones who do.
Maybe couples should pray to achieve mutual satisfaction in the Christian marriage bed, and maybe, just maybe, His answer is to bring you to posts like this one, as well as the ones I point to within it.
Why I Decided to Write this Post
Why would I choose to write about something that I by no means am an expert in?
Only recently have I even returned to God over an extensive hiatus.
Because I am a sexual freak.
I LOVE sex.
And the kind I mean refers to the no-holds-barred, blood-rushing kind- intimate sex which combines emotional, physical and spiritual connection.
And I struggle between my desires and God’s beautiful plan for lovemaking.
The problem is I never went about it the Godly way and am paying a HUGE emotional price for it.
All of you reading this who are married and Christian consider yourselves fortunate because all the boneheads out there like me who fell to temptation to premarital sex will never completely have what you have.
We will never enjoy the complete package experience you got to live through as virgins.
And the non-Christian couples will never understand what it’s like to grow together as one in flesh through the God’s love triangle found in Ephesians 5: 22-33
The dream of experiencing the complete union of body, soul and spirit blows my mind.
It fascinates me to the core.
As of the writing of this post I have recently returned to God after finally surrendering my soul to Him after over a decade of tiresome years attempting to do things my way.
I wish I could go back in time and have what you have- the opportunity to experience lovemaking through God’s eyes with one woman.
And despite the mistakes I’ve made, which I share throughout my site here, I want to do my part in spreading His word on how to enjoy one of His most treasured gifts to humanity.
And the opportunity sits within your grasp so I wish to share some of the most useful intimate Christian marriage sex tips which I read that inspired me. The Christian marriage sex life tips that you’ll read here come from Christian marriage sites and blogs across the internet.
This post is for those of you who want a more pleasurable Christian marriage sex life, but feel ashamed to talk about it (or even think about it).
10 Unique and Intimate Christian Marriage Sex Tips by Christian Bloggers
1. Learn Something
I came across this post written by Seattle Christian Counseling “10 Great Sex Tips for Married Couples”. One suggestion they share is to learn what your partner wants sexually and also what you like. Discover new positions that you and your partner enjoy. Add the new moves to your sexual “repertoire”.
Pleasing your partner and learning how to coach them through what you like will set the mood for comfortable and enjoyable lovemaking with your spouse.
Do not hold back. Practice inhabitable sex both physically and emotionally.
Read the full article here.
2. Don’t Spiritualize Christian Marriage Sex
This one cracks me up. Christian-Marriage-Today.com Michael and Wanda suggest you refrain from playing gospel music during sex something they discovered one of their counseling clients did. Another client actually called out “Jesus” while making love instead of screaming her husband’s name. Huge turn offs for us men. They agreed it’s a bad idea to literally bring God into the bed during sex.
But YES, by all means shout out our names, please! We do like that, please don’t be ashamed.
3. Men Should Learn Their Wife’s Need for Emotional Sex BEFORE Having Physical Sex
Guest blogger Dr. Wyatt Fisher (licensed psychologist) on ChristianCrush.com sees all too often how many men “wine and dine” their girlfriends before marriage and then ease up after they tie the knot.
Then they expect their wives to turn their sexual desire switch off and on at will, but often times it doesn’t work that way (as we know).
He references Robert Lewis’s Ten Second-Ten Point Rule: men tend to only need ten seconds of visual stimuli from their wife to be ready for sex (after she gets out of the shower, changing clothes in front of him). Wives on the other hand tend to be ready for sex after their husband performs ten points to make her feel special such as making her a cup of coffee, calling her during her lunch break at work or a long intimate conversation.
Great easy-to-follow tip for men!
Check out his full article here.
4. Oral Sex in Christian Marriages? Is It a Sin?
Someone had to say it and Julie Sibert at IntimacyinMarriage.com stuck her neck out to do it. She broke the silence in the “room” of online Christian bloggers and readers. She asked, “Should oral sex be permissible in Christian marriage sex?” Great, open point of view! Check out her post as she argues that there is no Biblical evidence stating that oral sex in the Christian marriage bed is sinful.
I love how she takes a stand against those close-minded Christians who say sex purely for making babies.
After you entertain yourself with this eye-popping post, I urge you to take the extra time to skim through the 60+ viewer comments sharing their stories.
5. Figure Out Where Her Clitoris Is- And What to Do With It
Post from female blogger Sheila Gregoire at ToLoveHonorandVacuum.com coaching Christian men how to make love to their Christian wives.
One thing I find helpful about her tips is that many from the list aim to help us deal with the disappointment when she doesn’t want sex.
But one tip in particular that I didn’t anticipate seeing is number 4.
How to touch her vagina.
Sounds pretty steamy, right?
There certainly is an art to massaging a woman’s vagina and for some men who fear it should read this article. Do not just get excited about number 4. I think the tips that deal with the emotional side of Christian marriage sex life supersede the physical.
I highly recommend to read Sheila’s article “Men: Here’s What I’d Like to Say to You About Sex”. It’s one of the most unique ones I came across designed specifically for Christian husbands.
Ladies, please check it out to in order to learn more what we men struggle with.
6. Married Christian Sex Nymphos. What Can Women with High Sex Drives Do?
Talking about Christian married sex life intimidates many of us, but now imagine feeling like you can’t relate to anyone because you do not fear it at all.
I could imagine that some Christian wives feel no inhibition to have sex. And sure enough I found a site for such women to relate to each other who have high sex drive.
It’s not their fault. Some women have higher testosterone than others.
Check out the site ChristianNymphos.org
The home page attempts to unite Christian women who share the uncomfortable position of feeling abnormal in terms of their desire for sex.
7. Christian Friendly Sex Positions
And here’s another peculiar site.
The domain name is actually ChristianFriendlySexPositions.com
The site owners go by the names John and Jane Doe.
Yes, that is not a typo.
Sound strange already, doesn’t it?
The site’s homepage claims to advise married Christian couples of 180 “clean Christian friendly sex positions”
Now it doesn’t state what they mean by “clean” nor how the positions are designed specifically for Christians, but you certainly can learn something about positions (if you struggle with that).
Visitors to the site can search by different parameters such as degree of difficulty, stimulation positions or which spouse takes control.
Each position contains blue and pink cartoon stick figures which illustrate how to perform the position.
The fact that the site promotes sex toys seems odd to me and leads me to believe they are not actually Christians.
Maybe they’re just taking advantage of the numerous searches conducted in search engines by married Christians who look for new ways to heighten their sexual experience.
You can decide for yourself.
Check out this peculiar site here.
Either way, an interesting read.
8. How Marriage Ruins Sex (Huh?)
The structure of Christian marriage can get in the way of our ability to enjoy intimacy with our partners if we do not understand the purpose behind it according to Jay Dee at UncoveringIntimacy.com
God has our best interest in mind. And we must seek to understand His ultimate plan for Christian marriage.
What I believe Jay means is that by reciting and focusing on the Biblical rules and guidelines regarding Christian marriage sex will not magically make intimacy enticing, but it provides the framework to understand God’s plan which can.
Furthermore, marriage doesn’t guarantee pleasurable sex either, but it too provides the framework to learn how.
Very insightful and well-thought out post. Read the full article here.
9. Schedule Sex When Spontaneous Sex Not Possible
I’ve never had kids, but could imagine how it changes a couple’s relationship to allow for alone time. On the other hand, I do know what it is like to live in a relationship where our schedules conflict. And when this happens just sitting around expecting spontaneous sex to occur can lead to repetitive disappointment.
Mike Genung at BlazingGrace.com suggests scheduling time for intimacy. Allow for ample time to set the mood and enjoy it without pressure to rush and finish on time.
I especially like his point about how Satan does everything to ruin our relationships. He pushes you to participate in premarital sex and emphatically attempts to deprive you of it after you’re married.
10. Missionary Position Only? Boring! Can We Spice Things Up with New Positions?
So let’s take another look at Christian sexual positions.
The name of the sex position “missionary” in itself implies that it a pure way for Christians to make love, but you and I both know how boring that gets.
I love the post I discovered at BibleReasons.com that discusses the rights within the Christian marriage sex life to enjoy lovemaking to its fullest.
Fritz Cherie shares your opinion that sex is God’s gift to the Christian married couple. And you are free to attempt any sexual position you want and experience sex however you want, provided it’s just between the just the two of you.
I think you’ll enjoy the verses Fritz references which support the Biblical view that lovemaking is to be enjoyed in the Christian sex life.
Read the post Christian Sex Positions here.
Is It Permissible for Christians to Enjoy Sex?
How Far Is Too Far?
And Why Do We As Christians Have Such DIFFERENT Opinions About the Christian Sex Life?
I think it is safe to say that we all struggle with one aspect or another in the Christian married sex life. We all have dozens of questions for which we seek answers.
To make the challenge even more difficult our partners may not share the same sexual views or drive.