My girlfriend gave me great feedback after all of our first few dates. It felt like a report card hahah but it made me feel like I was doing a great job making her happy and paying attention to the details. It trained me to want to keep looking for ways to help her enjoy our time together because I wanted to keep hearing her positive “date reviews”.

Again thank you for leaving a comment Mona. I actually only have one post on dating tips for men. I wish you the best with your blog and anyone reading the comments here can see your link and click it to go view your content. After reading your comments I decided to go back and re-read the post AND make adjustments to it because I definitely do NOT want women to devalue themselves for men. On the contrary, I want them to choose to only spend their time with men who make them feel appreciated and respect them. A few years after I launched my blog I decided to split the content into two main niches: understanding and processing the pain and happenings of affairs; and then relationship and dating advice/insight into the male mind. While many posts are more light-hearted and entertaining some are designed to take a deeper look into how men think. There are many different angles: some of what not to do to avoid pain and others on what to do to get a man to give you his full attention and respect. I do not like seeing women get hurt and would prefer to keep them out of harm’s way and also help them find the right compatible guy for them. I receive many emails from heart-broken wives trying to make sense of why their husband cheated. The topics of love and relationships can be fragile and stir up a lot of raw emotion. I appreciate your opinions and time to leave a comment. Thank you and I wish you the best with your blog and journey to find peace.

On the contrary. I submit for your consideration that men likely LOVE reading your self-serving dating advice. I’m not writing a blog to establish traffic or readership. If anyone has the unfortunate experience of an unfaithful partner, maybe they will gain a small measure of comfort reading that someone has felt similar feelings in a similar experience. When I searched “infidelity” your blog popped up. I’m not quite sure what it has to do with your content. Your content seems largely to be advice for how women can participate in devaluing themselves in hopes the trick of the day will work. Oh it will work, to hook a shallow self-centered person who won’t be worth the effort in the long run…or the short run. I just don’t think you get it. Sorry. There’s lots of room for different opinions. I’d still encourage any woman to run for the hills if she needs to manipulate someone into thinking she is interesting.

Thank you for replying again Mona. First, thank you for sharing your link. I checked it out and will read some more. Finding out your spouse or partner cheated can certainly put a damper on anyone’s outlook on relationships and certainly challenge one’s feelings on love. Those of us who have been cheated on have gone through it at one point. You bring up a great point about “keeping men interested”. So, a couple of things. One, when you run a blog you write for what people search for or not many people will find your blog. You research which search terms people search for on Google. The thing is that terms like “why men pull away”, “keep men interested”, “scare men away”, “why men disappear” are what women are actively searching for. The keyword research tool Jaaxy.com that I use tells me that women search for these terms. Next, primarily my post is meant to explain the answer to the question women Google, which is “Why do men disappear after falling in love/getting close, etc.?” on a deeper level. Practically ALL of my posts on dating tips are designed for women (not men) because I believe women have a healthier outlook on relationships. So, yes, I recommend that women adopt, put in practice and master a strategy of becoming the “prize-to-be-won”. Get the man to value your uniqueness and respect your standards and boundaries and thus you will become a lady of high value to him. And in this way it filters out the non-commital, time-wasting, selfish men. At the same time, relationship-minded men, who know what they want, have specific needs too. So, this is where the two-way street comes in. No matter how attractive and fun you might be, there are certain “non-negotiables” for stronger-minded men that we will not overlook. For example, #5, if I go on a few dates with a woman and do my best to customize the experience to her liking and she does not give me the proper feedback that she appreciates me, at least trying to make her happy, then why would I want to go back out with her? It’s possible, of course, that she did not have a good time and does not want to go out again, OR… that she just is bad with communication OR.. that she feels entitled. Either way, I don’t want to ask her out again. Take #2, this explains that as men we have a primal need to feel like protectors, providers and pleasers. On a date this could simply take the the form of planning the date and showing you a good time, plus treating you like a gentleman. Or even after we start to date and spend more time together, if she seems like she interprets our behavior to offer help as us saying that she cannot help herself, or that we want to make her dependent on us, then this strips many of us of one way we like to feel connected. A relationship-minded and empathetic man would have her best interests in mind and not try to make her feel dependent on him. And yes, when both people are completely compatible, even in emotional areas that are deep beneath the surface, they usually stick together because BOTH fulfilled each other’s needs. I could easily write a post to explain some of the “non-negotiable” needs that MEN do NOT meet that lead to the women disappearing too. But, for now, I do not create much dating content designed for men to read.

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Thank you Mona for replying. No, regretfully, unfaithfulness is not uncommon. It might be hidden, but it is pretty rabid. I receive a number of emails detailing experiences that you’d swear come right out of the movies. In regards to your original comment, please understand that each of my posts comes from a specific viewpoint, even if I do a poor job explaining that specific viewpoint. While relationships are a two-way street, we still seek to have our own needs met first. Men, whether respectful or selfish, have needs they want met and regretfully often enough we do not express what they are. This post is NOT designed for women who have been cheated on, rather those who have started to date someone and the guy suddenly ghosted them or simply decided that he was no longer interested. Would you like me to read your blog Mona? Perhaps I could have you do a Guest Post on mine. I could help you get additional traffic and exposure to what you have already gained yourself. What’s its URL?

I write, respectfully, about my own experience with an unfaithful husband. I’ve found in reading other people’s blogs that unfortunately my experience isn’t unusual. Lots of men and women out there have walked in my shoes. So, knowing this is the lens I’m viewing the world with, you can understand that your article touched a nerve. Selfish women. Selfish men. They are all out there. I’m working on being less selfish myself.

Thank you for leaving your comment Mona. Actually I agree with you. There are definitely times that the wrong men, who are emotionally unavailable, will not commit, no matter what. When this happens I’d just say that the two of you are not completely compatible, otherwise, he would want to stick around. These 5 reasons are just 5 of many. My reasons come from my own personal experience watching my male friends or other guys, some of my own experience and also based on what some well-known dating coaches say. The point of the post is to share our most inner emotional needs as men, no holding back, no sugar-coating. Truthfully, I take the woman’s side more than not because I think women have much healthier intentions in relationships. Now realize this is coming from me who launched this blog because my ex-wife decided to leave unannounced to move in with a guy she barely knew in another city. I have met MANY selfish women, but I still choose to keep an open mind and take people on a case-by-case basis. All that experience meant for me was that what they wanted was not the same that I wanted. Looks like you run a website. Do you write about relationships?